SUNYI

The jeans and the shirt you bought me. The pijama that i havent worn for a short while. i wear it by myself right now. i feel good by myself. the old pictures that i took out again. the pictures where you and me are happily smiling. i look at them by myself. i feel good by myself. why am i still? why am i still here? why am i like this? can i call you again? NO! i tried to be better so you wont cry. i miss you so much! your eyes, your nose, your lips, everything of you! i try to imagine im eating with you but you're not here. i try to imagine im watching a movie with you but you're not here. the street we used to walk together, if only i can walk with you again. everyday. if only we can walk together again. i'd like it very much. the song you always sings for me. now it's the song that i play everyday. i listen to it by myself. i feel good by myself. i walk on the street without you. i get in the car without you. it feels like no one is looking for me. it hurts a lot. it sicks my heart. the break up that i thought would never come to us. it came to me secretly, out of sudden. and you leave me so easily. i try to go back to the place we always spend time together but you're not there. no matter how much i call you, you're not there. if only i can make a wish come true, i just wanna spend some more time with you. abah, i want you to know that i'm lonely here without you. i really am. 

Babe. sorry if everything seemed so sad inside here. maybe im not the old me anymore. things changed. people changed. after a while, i still cannot move on. maybe i dont even want to. its hard. totally hard. this is the only way i can fully express what i feel right now. i have to be strong in front of other people, so at least please let me throw out my real feelings here. in my own space. so that no one knows what im actually feeling right at this moment. i will find the old me. but its not gonna happen soon. give me more time. the old ilyana will come back. :)

Sepi seorang perindu,

Fitrah Ilyana.