TREATING THE BROKEN HEART

Babe. so long since the last one haa. yes, im still alive. still trying hard to survive to keep myself alive every single day. im carving my smile everyday, hiding the tears and suffers behind. i have to. i have no other choice left. babe. i miss him. yes, for like million times. i miss him more and more every seconds passes. but, i can do nothing. A said, "you have Allah fit. every time you miss him, go seek Him. Allah listen to every word of His servants." so i told Allah a lot about him, and i cried. i cannot help but crying everyday. those 2 eyes were swollen most of the time. i wonder if i cried all night. maybe i did. and it looks like i'll start crying at any time again. i can't even say anything to him again if i miss him. all those messages from him before, i keep reading it every night.

i wanted to crazily follow you abah and call out to you. but, reality tells me immediately that you have left! that you are gone! that i should let you go. but reality never know that im suffering! reality never know that my heart hurt like hell every time im thinking of you, thinking of how much i need you and miss you! reality never know that my day feels so unfamiliar, each day that you're not here with me. reality refuse to understand that one fact of me! abah, i need you. especially during this time, where normally your hug is the best remedy above all. i miss you. heart, please be strong. you have to!

Locked out of myself,

Fitrah Ilyana.