SeKiLaS 2009 . . .

babe , 2009 will come to the end in a couple of hrs more . so nw , i'll sort out sum important things in my lyfe . enjoy !

FaMiLy

- additional members in ma fmily yg da smemangnya besar for dis year .
- baby haikal , april 2009 .
- baby ikhwan , ogos 2009 .
- dis two babies chumel had cherish our family . plus both my mom jge . wee .
- i love baby so i'm da happiest sister ! hahaa .
- abah , org tau org byk wat salah dgn abah . org mnta maaf . i'll try my best to change dat bad habits . thnx sbb sntiasa sokong org di saat org hmpir rebah . ur trust will bring me to the top . org janji !
- mama , through dis year , my sin towards u was so uncountable . org hampakan harapan mama utk jd yg terbaek . maybe dis year org gagal . but org akan cbe yg terbaek taon depan . org mntak ampun 4 everything .
- makcu , thnx 4 being da great aunt . u were such a great woman . prinsip idup makcu jd panduan utk org menghadapi dunia luar .
- helmi , i'm so sorry sbb slalu mrah2 ko . i juz want u to be the best . ko lelaki . ko yg pimpin family kte nty . plz think of dat . ak tau ko ta ske ak mrah2 ko kn ? so brubah plz .
- adek , awk nkal sgt dis year kn ? result awk pun jauh tnggal blakang . ayg tau awk kecik lg . but plz , jgn nkal2 . i know u cn get anything dat u want . tp ayg na ajar awk usaha sndri utk dpt seswatu sb dat will be da most appreciated moment .
- abg , assignment abg slalu org bwat kan ? hahaa . sorry sbb kdg2 ta reply msg abg . kedit org kn slalu kering . gee . n sorry gak sbb rhsia abg kdg2 terbabas kat kak sha . bkn sngaje but kak sha uh psiko sket . hahaa . i can't run away . n org ttp jaguh badminton ! wee . jgn mrah !

VaCaTioN

- kelantan , june 2009 . omg bes gler ! pegy dgn family abah . naek satu bas . rmai2 . happy2 . mandi laut smue . gahah . it was great ! fun sgt !

- langkawi , november 2009 . trip dgn fwens . present 9A's from skewl . hakhak . unforgettable memories . mcm2 happened . room blackout ! bkn skaly tp 4 kaly ! hahaa . ta pena tdow hotel bilik blackout . hahaa . then enjoy quality time wit my bes fwens . naeim , amy , fana . hahaa . bes ! bes !

- pangkor , disember 2009 . among all da vacation , this was the best ! wee . ;) . idk y tp i think i discover myself at here . i know what i really want in my life at here . then , aku berjaya panjat batu besar wlupun b4 nie tuh yg plg aku tkutkan . gee . then , naek bot , rounding2 pulau , mndy laut , naek kayak , tgk bulan tepi pantai mlm2 , tgk sunset . omg da moment is so perfect . one of my dream has become true . thnx for the great person yg sudi merealisasikan impian ak tuh . pangkor was the best vacation ever ! and i'll not forget this vacation lifetime !

FwEnShiP

- dis year , i do love my fwenship ! it was great !
- i learn da real meaning of fwenship .
- qis , u're great lady . understanding , clever n caring . ilysm babe !
- naeimah , thnx 4 owes being there . through sad n happy .
- syifa , u know da real meaning of the tears .
- fieqah , even we're not in da same skewl , but we share the same soul . thnx syg !
- busuk , ta sngka kte ley rapat dis year kn ? u're one of my great woman . ily busuk !
- hazi , ak syang ko lar weyh !
- amy , ak takan lupe inncident blackout kte kat langkawi . hee . thnx sbb sudi jd kwn aku .
- fana , kekalutan ko menghiburkan aku . hahaa . ko chumel sgt !
- hawa , ma syg awe !
- man , thnx sbb sudi jd pendengar setia ak .
- miza , kecomelan ko menenangkan aty ak .
- farah , u're nice person .
- ayuni , ko kwn ak yg gile ! kte satu kepala . thnx sbb sudi jd kawan ak wat kerja gila .
- to all my other fwens yg ak ta sebut , bkn korg ta spesyel . every single person yg hadir dlm diri ak had coloured my life . korg smue telah mematangkan aku , menceriakan idup aku , dan mengajar aku bagaimana utk jd seorang yg bergelar INSAN . thnx a lot guyz ! u're appreciated here . sorry 4 every single mistakes dat i've did throughout dis year !

LoVe

- love was getting more complicated .
- i met many guys dis year .
- but , ak ta pena kenal apa itu 'KAPEL' or da status of 'IN RELATIONSHIP' .
- yes , maybe prasaan suka tuh ada . but ak percaya itu bukan CINTA .
- pepel can say wtv they want but for me dat was only a normal feeling of a girl .
- sbb sumtymes aku hepy dgn dunia yg ak cipta sndiri .
- and sumtymes aku benci dgn dunia tuh sbb aku rase ak BODOH utk menyukai org yg sebenarnya tade prasaan pun kat aku . tuh mmemalukan diri sendiri . n dat's wat i did dis year .
- yup , aku ada terjebak dgn insan yg bernama LELAKI .
- tp jujurnya , ak tak jumpa kegembiraan yang sebenarnya . yg ada hanya kesaketan dan kekecewaan . pointless . useless .
- but guys , wlupun korg bukan utk aku , but aku tetap bersyukur sbb korg telah mematangkan aku dan mengajar aku erti ketabahan dan nilai setitis air mata itu . thnx a lot .
- and now , i guess i'm ready to commit with the status : 'IN RELATIONSHIP'

sTuDy + sKewL

- dis year , duniaku di bumi shams terletak di 4 ikram .
- there , aku menimba ilmu , berkongsi pahit manis dgn all my fwens , kena mrah , exam , denda , gelak , nanges , lari-lari , smue dlm klas tuh .
- kkwn2 ak mmg happening gler + sporting abes .
- aku takan lupe smue tuh .
- my study , so far it getting better from time to time .
- i could catch up wit da syllabus even sumtymes aku cm org gila ke sana ke mari manage everything .
- result pun maintain2 jea even kdg2 ada turun naek gak . adat la tuh .
- kelas awal2 dulu jrg fly . but akhir2 nie slalu sgt fly sbb kejar dateline majalah . yes aku budak redaksi . aku librarian plak tuh . huh . gler la .
- tugas luar mmg sgt byk . but tuh da amanah utk aku . so , ak kena gak lksanakan everything wlupun mmg penat gler na mty .
- tp aku tetap try ta skip klas . tp kdg2 terbabas gak lar . gee . sorry cegu .
- to all teachers , thnx sbb sabar dgn prangai kte .
- cg isa , sorry sbb sllu tdow dlm klas cg .
- cg fatimah , honestly , sy tkowt dgn cg . tp sy ttp degil kn ? sorry !
- cg mazlan , 'CIKGU AKU' . hahaa . cg sy ske blaja dgn cg . BM sy dpt A . yea !
- tch punitha , ur class was great ! tp sy sllu ta wat practice tch . but the death class was da best !
- cg rashidah , sy ske klas mate mode tch ! sy ta pena skip klas tch ! hehe .
- cg jamilah , finally add mate sy dapt A gak . tenkiu tch !
- tch zai , tch mcm mak sy ! u understands me as well . ilysm tch . sorry sbb chemistry final org down sket . promise ta wat agy !
- tch azlin , sorry sbb sllu lmbt anta buku latihan physics .
- cg aniza , sy sllu fly klas bio kn ? sbb tuh bio sy B . hahaa . sorry tch . ta wat agy .
- cg fatin , thnx sbb percaya kebolehan sy .
- ustzh hasnah , syariah sy sllu B . sbb sy sllu ta dgr ustzh ckp . gee . sorry .
- ustzh fida , 3 bulan ustzh kt skola wat ktorg heppy sgt . trima kasih .
- ustzh asmah , GPK HEM ktorg yg plg menggerunkan . sy ingt agy ustzh mrh sy sbb naek tngga pejabat . gee . sy degil kn ?
- ust zaini , arab sy pena dpt C . once in a lifetime ! teruk betul . tp skaly jea kn ? lpas tuh sy dpt 4B blek . kn ? kn ? hehe .
- cg hamzani , thnx sbb sllu leter2 kat sy . at least sy da sedar tnggungjwb sy . hee .
- cg wan , bebelan cg kt ktorg akhirnya mmbuahkan hasil . ktorg brjaya siapkan mjalah ! wee .
- to all cegu2 n makcik2 pakcik2 kt skola , sorry klw de wat slah n thnx 4 everything .

SuCcEsS

- akhirnya cbaran one guy tlah aku lunaskan . aku berjaya jd 'best student PMR 08' . "ayg , mama nak sgt tgk nama ayg kat papan uh nty." mama , impian mama utk tgk nme kte dekat board best student tuh akhirnya berjaya kte capai . berkat doa semua insan .
- ak berjaya masuk ke peringkat kebangsaan 'National Science Challenge 09' . penghargaan yg plg besar buat aku . ktorg berkampung di USM selama sminggu . wlupun kalah , tp i'd learnt so many valuable things . fifah , syahmi , tch zai , thnx sbb sabar layan kerenah sy .
- team netball kelas , even kte kalah tp we're still da best kn ? hehe .
- then , mid year , i manage to get 2nd place in batch . not bad though ryte ? yea memuaskan wlupun i still couldn't beat fifah yet . hahaa .
- finally , ak dpt anugerah 'Librarian Paling Berdedikasi' . hahaa . it was the great feeling . wlupun ak ta hrap segala tenaga yg ak salurkan itu dibalas sebegitu . but , Alhamdulillah .

CoNFLicT

- tipulah klw idup sntiasa hepy jea ryte .
- as a teen , conflict was normal .
- so many conflicts in my life dis year but i juz tell yg important2 jea oke .
- conflict in study , i hate myself sbb ta ley beat fifah . until one point , ak cm da ta mmpu na handle smue tuh . my family keep hoping dat i can beat her . evrything yg aku bwat smue ta jd . smue ta kena . for them , fifa was da best . n i'm nothing . but then , i realize sumthing . she's just a challenge for me utk usaha dgn lbih kuat ag utk berjaya . mama ckp jgn hiraukan ape org laen nak ckp . i'm competing myself to get the success . then i'll try to find myself . n did a come back . as a result , final exam ak is far better than before . thnx guys yg ta penah henti2 bg support kt ak .
- then librarian matter . ak pun da hmpir lupa da pasal nie . ak da maafkan dat guy . yg malukan ak . tengking2 aku depan org mcm salah tuh salah aku instead dat was clearly his fault . dat time , cg pun cm slahkan aku . tensyen sgt2 . crying heavily gler . ak ponteng skola 2 ary . i couldn't face the pepel at skewl . malu sgt2 . ase cm dunia nie ta adil lngsung . but then the truth berpihak pada aku . ak bersyukur sgt sbb akhirnya Allah tunjukkan jalan buat aku . thnx boy sbb ajar aku erti sabar , tabah n jgn putus asa .
- conflict dgn kwn . byasela . kdg2 kte terlepas pndang . maybe bnda tuh salah kte bt kte ase tuh slah org . lumrah la tuh kan . dlm fwenship , tade yg smuenye sweet jea . jlan klw lurus jea , bosan kn ? liku2 idup tuh la yg mmatangkan kte sbenarnya . so bersyukur dgn ape yg tlah Allah tetapkan utk kte slame nie . sbb itu adalah yg terbaek utk hamba-hambaNya .

ByE ByE 2009!

WeLcOmE 2010!

i LoVe YoU !

you make me believe in myself ,
you make me smile ,
you give me your trust and i give you mine ,
you make me complete ,
you comfort me when i feel down ,
you mean the world to me ,
you show me what it means to be in love ,
you are my everything ,
i love how you gaze into my eyes ,
i love how you hold me in your arms ,
i love how we hold hands ,
i love how you make me feel secure ,
i love how i always smile when i'm around you ,
i love how we say nothing and know what each other is thinking ,
i love how we spend time together ,
i love to see the beauty of the moon together ,
i love to watch the sunset at the side of the beach ,
i love you !

:)

By LoViNg Me,

YoU aRe TeaChiNg Me

HoW To LoVe MySeLF . . .

please don't play with my heart !

babe , i'm so sad tuday . heartache ! da feel is so painful . seems like i couldn't bear it anymore . almost 4 days i'm trying to refrain . but tuday , i know i'd lost . i don't want pepel to be mad at me . seriously . it's just not right . messy . i'm trying to make everybody hepy but then i'm still hurting sumbody . yes , we're not perfect . but , argh ! it was so complicated . idk wat i've been doin' n wat i'm supposed to do . yes , i know dat's my fault . i'd say sorry ! is it so hard to forgive dat silly mistake ? yup . maybe i'm silly for doing dat kind of things . you're so kind n caring past few days n in a blink of eyes , everything's changed ! 360 DEGREES ! u was somebody else dat i'd never know ! u're stiffed , fierce , ignorant , annoying , wtv ! yes , dat's you ! no doubt ! i'm hurt ! i'm crying ! dun u realize dat ? who's me to be realized of ryte ? ugh . its complicated to be tell in words . da feel is so bad , hurt , painful and useless !

exhausting .

babe , juz a simple entry here . abg , org penat tau ta bwat assignment abg . smpy tade mase na study . hahah . bt so k then . sbb org baek , org korbankan sket masa study org . hahah . tp tlg lar jgn wat cnie agy . tlg jgn kumpulkan abg nye assignment byk2 then bg kte smue skaly suh wat dlm mase 2 ary ! exhausting oke ! hesh . ta pasal2 org kena jd dak upm yg wat business management . hahah . marketing assignment agy ! dahsyat ta org . superwoman . hahah . da la org ta mnat business sgt . harap en experience tyme f3 jea . hesh . abg nie kan . klu tade kte abg na suh sape wat erm ? nyway , thnx for da credit abg ! realy appreciate it . hehe . kdit org pun mmg da flat en . hehe . daa !

exm virus . hesh .

babe , i'm getting crazy . oh god . exam giler ta siyes . maen2 gler . study ta , hape ta , harung gamble msuk exam . teruk lar fitrah nie kan ? kan ? kan ? tade niat nak blogging lme2 . na tlg abg wat assignment dye . hesh abg nie kan ? org nak upah ley ? hahah . blanja org tpup . kdit da lar kring nie . haih . oh yea bout da exam . first paper bm . kre oke lar . tulis jea pe yg terlintas d pkiran . goreng pe yg ptut . paper 2 pun sme . bukit kepong ta bce mende . borink novel frankly . then malar hijau pun tah hape mende ntah . ta pena dgr pun cite tuh . kahkah . sejarah ? oh dear , gle gak tuh . ciri-ciri zaman gelap pun ta ingat ? teruk2 . but it was oke . hopefully dpt lar A . gahah . effort besar kuman ade aty na dpt A en ? piirah ! hekhek . quran sunnah ? 50-50 . ade dpt ade tak . alaa byase lar fitrah nie . smue nye sparuh-sparuh . mlas nak bce whole tjuk . alaa agame en ? logik akal suda lar . kahkah . arab plak ? konfem2 da bngkus . hahah . mlas da na pkir arab . mlm b4 paper arab uh smpat ag pegy mukhnisa . hahah . sengal en ? da tuh , essay arab berterabur . makna pun ta pham . kinayah lar , ape lar . hahah . terbalik2 . atas ke bwah , bwah ke atas . tp nyesal pun ta gne . da suda . esk dpt result trime lar ape adanyer . hee . tuh lar , org na pndah skola abah ta kasi . gy pown ape yg ade gy kat skola tuh ? smue yg org ade smue da ilang da . i juz hv my great fwens jea kat situ . naim , busuk , hazi , syifa , n others . guys u're great oke . tade kowg yg ta ptus2 bg smangat , da lme da ak tewas dlm perjuangan nie . then , chemistry . pun hncur gak lar sket . ta sbagus mid year . tch zai ckp paper 2 ad spoil kat blakang uh . duh . serba slah sgt . ak tau tch zai letak hrapan tnggi kat ak score chemistry . tp ak da musnahkan hrapan dye . tch , fitrah minta maaf . org mmg tade confident lngsung for dis exam . ta taw nape . but i guess , tch mst fham pe yg org ase senanya . tenkiu tch . ilysm ! last paper tuday syariah . ag lar bngkus . tp miza kate mke ak rilek jea . bkn rilek uh . tapi pasrah nmenyer . gahah . rilek2 jea lar . bak kate kak tika , sumatif jea . kahkah . tp ta ley na tipu larh , ad gak ase regret sket . tp tanak plak insaf en fitrah ? hahah . duh . risau . risau . help me plz !

is it a mistakes ?

babe , i'm hurt . siyesly . yup . my fault . let myself for being lost in feelings . its been so far than da real path . i've been setting the limit earlier . but then ? after knowing him for sum tymes , i didn't realize whre n when i was in him . i had crossing da boundary dat was made by myself ! y ? yes , coz he's so sweet . he's charming . he's romantic . he treats me well . like wat every girls dream of . time by time , i started to build da sweet dreamz . but life isn't owes hepy ryte ? for him , i was juz da most spsyl bes fwenz in his life ! dis small heart was broke in pieces since dat day . wat he's talking , wat he's doing , is all bcos of i was his bes fwenz ? is it my fault ? over-feeling ? let my heart be played by anybody ? so bad of me . he keep asking me y , y , n y ? u want da answer ? y i owes feel unright ? bad mood ? dats was all bcoz of u ! yes , u cn find another gurl who suits u well . but for me ? it's hard to find another love . bcoz i'm owes dreaming of u as my soulmate . bt it's useless isn't it ? no point . yes , it was my mistakes who allowing my own self to be lost in this game . i'm lose !

waktu berguling . lambat merantai langkah perjalanan kita . berjuta cerita . terukir dalam . menjadi sebuah dilema . mengertikah engkau . perasaanku tak terhapuskan . malam menangis . titis embun membasahi mata hatiku . mencuba bertahan di atas puing-puing cinta yg telah rapuh . apa yg ku genggam . tak mudah utk aku lepaskan . aku terlanjur cinta kepadamu . dan telah ku berikan seluruh hatiku . tapi mengapa baru kini kau bertanyakan cintaku . aku pun tak mengerti yg terjadi . apa salah dan kurang ku padamu . kini terlambat sudah untuk dipersalahkan . kerna sekali cinta . aku tetap cinta .

a confession 'bout FITRAH .

babe , last on9 before go back to kampung perhaps ? hee . SELAMAT HARI RAYA ! i'm so xcited now ! cannot wait to celebrate eid ! fitrah da bayar ? hahah . i mean zakat lar . gee . not my name . yea i'm proud dat my name is FITRAH ILYANA oke . hehe . y my name fitrah ? bcoz i was born a day b4 hari raya aidifitri . then bcoz of dat , my dad had to pay for my FITRAH dat year . dat's y my name is FITRAH . very symbolic isn't it ? oh yes , it's very meaningful to me . oh forgot ! important ! guys , i want to seek for a forgiveness from everyone of u . since dis 16 years alive , my mistakes is so uncountable . infinity . so , i'm sorry for all da silly mistakes dat i did . rough words , acts , misbehaviour etc . hope dis girl will be forgiven . dis gurl is human . couldn't escape from making mistakes . nobody's perfect . so2 sorry guys . 0-0 oke ? gee . u guys are invited to my house dis eid oke ? ur baju raya is ready ? mine is yes ! hee . busuk , ur baju raya matter is settled yet ? if not then buy a ready-made one lorh . i know u are not comfortable with it . but at da same time i couldn't imagine u wearing tee n jeans pg raye . hehe . ha , i'll upload pic raye asap oke ? gee . oh god , fitrah wants to go back to kampung ! tomorrow evening . a couple of hours more . ugh . dis year i will wearing green kurung pahang . same colours with azrul . hepy ! hepy ! hehe . dis guy said dat he was my husband . hahah . sept 17th was his berday . he called me . a soooooooo-long conversation . 2 hrs n a half oke . believe it ? hah . unbelievable . then now i'm getting to know him well . yes he's a nice person . n da most important is he is sincere . truly . he accept me as who i am . hope dis relationship will lasts longer . amin !

away to kampung !

babe ! nie na bgtaw nie , fitrah nak balik kg tumorrow lpas subuh ! its nearby act . rembau jea . kepoh jea kan . hahah . ta saba ! ta saba ! na poyo sket nie . dis gurl yg slalunye malas ta abes2 tuh na tlg nenek dye wat kuih raya ! hahah . cm ta caye jea kan ? bajet pndy jea fitrah tuh wat kuih . masuk dapur pun liat skaly kan ? hahah . alaa . jeles lar tuh . fitrah rajin lar dis week , kan nenek ? salah ke? tak salah but weird ! taufan 3 ary 3 mlm . hehe . esok org blek ngan makcu taw . abg ! dun say anything ! org taw abg tuh jeles . org rajin . wek ! ha org tau abg tade klas weekend nie . nenek suh blek tlg kemas umah . jgn ngelat ! hahah . klu abg tipu , rahsia abg ade kat org . bgtaw kak sha ty . gee . na tdow lar . na gtaw tuh jea . hak2 . poyo lbey fitrah nie . daa ~~

life is fair though .

babe , lame ta online ! pc org ta sembuh ag lar . mama , i need my pc ! plz , kol cine tuh ubatkan pc kite . mama slalu bz , ssh klu keep borrowing yours . plz ? pray ! pray ! through dis week , of cos lar mcm2 da happened kan . if not , then our life will be dull for sure . hepy . bahagia . sedih . kecewa . sket aty . insaf . smue ade . ha pg td kan , hina asenyer . kah2 . makcu lar . keta broke down depan hall skola . zahid nmpak . hahah . assembly dlm keta eh ? hee . ta pasal2 org kena tulis nme dgn KP ry nie mkcu . ta adil kan ? org da dtg awal da , tp kena gak tulis nme dtg lewat . salah ke org tggu mkcu smpy abah dtg . ta ptut btul kan KP tuh ? ta memahami ! bia la , Allah kan adil . Dia tau ape yg terbaek utk hambaNya . watever it is , sumpah klaka lar ry nie mkcu . makcu pun lmbat pg keje kan . hentam lar labu . gahah . tuday pun hepy gak sbb i realize i hv one more bes fwenz yg slame nie maybe aku da salah anggap dgn dye . so2 sorry hazi ! i ingat u ta ske i . honestly . dulu lar . but tuday , ternyata u're one of my great la babe . such a nice person . sharing partner . gud listener n of cos gud frenz . so , bes friends ? hee . syg kamoo lar hazi . thnx for every info n advice tuday . really make me realise da true fact in sumthings . dye mmg ta ley dipercayai . idk y i could let myself being lied with such dat kind of person . lame ! grr ! jgn harap i akan pcaye all his words nymore . go to hell ! ugh ! ha dis week i cm insaf sket laar . hee . taw nape ? sbb de satu incident in my class . ta pasal2 nme 4 ikram popular dis week . hahaha . but mmg da popular pun klas kitorg . cm cigu azlin ckp lar , " dlm byk2 klas , 4 ikram lar yg plg ssh na anta buku . " hahah . klaka btul . sory cg . fitrah ta anta ag latihan phy fitrah kt cigu . monday i'll send it oke . gee . ha pasal popular tuh kan ? kitorg kena tipu idup2 . ta sngke gler ! da girl dat i thought was nice , innocent was act not . she not even lied to us , but to principal , GPK 1 , HEM , our form tch , cg aniza n all da tchrs . wat act happened ? it was a long story to be telled . mlas lar na cite . things had happened . nw dye da pindah da pun . ta kesa lar ape pun , bt i learnt sumthing . b4 nie i ta pena terpkir pun na tipu cg smpy cm tuh skaly . plg jhat fitrah pun , stakat ta wat hw n fly klas jea lar kowt . tul tak ? ke jahat ag ? oke lar , slalu gak lar lnggar rulez skola . heh . normal lar tuh kan . ta kan na jd skema . ta adventure lar zman skola . hee . n satu ag , jgn kciwakan aty mak ayah kite . i can't imagine hw her dad's feeling when he knows 'bout dis past days . mst kcewa , sdey kan . i pray dat i will not make my parenz frustrated of me . mama , abah , kite syg mama abah ! kite janji , kite akan capai cita2 kita n make both of u proud of me . kite akan jd contoh terbaek utk abg n adek . kite sedar kite anak sulung . maybe kite ta ley jd sepandai afifah , but i'll try my best to prove to the world dat i can be wat i want to be . erm , wat else ? him ? oh god . i hate him truly . idk y . oke la fine . u pasan i ske u kan ? so wat ? diam2 jea lar . i ta ckp pun kan ? n u pun ta ske i kan ? i tau u ske org laen . oke da . settle masalah . i pun tade pape kaitan ngan u ag . ta ya la berat2 pale otak pk pasal i ag . lupakan jea . anggap bnda nie ta penah happened . nie tak . yg u nak memberontak tunjuk kat i yg u ta ske i apasal ? ello , i bukan doll oke . i bkan anak patung or teddy bear yg tade prasaan . i manusia ! i'm human ! ade aty dan prasaan ! i malu tau tak ! aty i sket ble u wat i cm pmpuan tade maruah ! ugh ! fine , klu u ta ske i , u na hate i terpulang . but ta payah na tnjuk to da whole world . fyi , dulu maybe i ade prasaan dgn u , but now maybe tak lagi . now i sedar , nie rupenya yg Allah na tunjukkan kat i . i'm sorry for everything . n i maafkan u . but i takan lupe seumur idup ape yg i dah lalui taon nie . oh god ! hw can i face him n her . plz give me sum ways ? i'm sure ak takan sepenuhnya ikhlas after dis . cool down fitrah . u kuat kan ? org penah ckp , jgn pilih utk bersama dgn org yg kite suka , sbb maybe org yg kte ske akan pegy tggalkan kita utk org yg dye cnta . sbaeknye , plihlah org yg ikhlas cntakan kte krana dye takan tggalkan kita utk org yg mnyukai dye . azrul said dat he'll be a great person in my life slamenyer . maybe i should think of it shouldn't i ? watever it is , cnta yg kekal abadi hanyalah cnta pada yg maha Esa . banji mashite .

di atas normal .

babe , i'm just back from village . currently hearing my baby you by marc anthony . no tense . automatically remembering him . who frankly i say dat is really annoying , irritating , frustrating . dis gurl is trying to hate him . perhaps ? even i know dat i can't . oh boy , i realy need u in my life . but i dun want to put my dignity at the bottom as well . wat i could do now ? oh gosh . its very complicated . i think it's a mistake to fall in love wit u . as u were not in me . so , i was shaming myself isn't it ? but , i didn't realized since i was in u . sorry . it was not my fault . no force in feelings ryte ? watever . at least , u'd known my feelin' . rather than i keep it wit myself , it was me who suffered alone . so , no regret please ! forget him if u can . no , i love him ! haish . he's secretive lar . please terus-terang bley kan ? suke maen tarik tali .

fikiranku . tak dapatku mengerti . kaki di kepala . kepala di kaki . fikiranku . patutnya menyedari . siapa yg harus , dan tak harus ku cari . tetapi tak dapatku mengerti . sesuatu . yg baru ku sedari . ku mencintaimu . tanpa sebab yg pasti . sesuatu yg harusnya terjadi . kau sakiti aku . kau yg harus aku benci . tetapi tak dapatku mengerti . ku mencari sesuatu yg mustahil . ku mencari hati yg ku benci . berapa jauh ku mencari , berapa lama ku menyelami . namun , tetap tak dapat ku temui .

such a boring life .

babe , it's boring here right now . i'm not goin' to skewl tuday . juz spending my free time at home . stomach-ache . + other reasons . mama n abah r goin' to bentong . they r visiting one of our relatives there . sick maybe . wit atuk n nenek . if i go 2 skewl then i've to went at 4.30 . oh god i dun want . exhausting oke . couldn't bear it . so ponteng lar tuday . looks like i've to catch up everything tumorrow . since tuday has arab , chem , phy , n bio . help me please ! GRR ! borink lorh . idk wat to do act . lazy 'bout finishing omework . dari pg kat snie . dpan laptop mama . busuk , da sehat ? take ur med in time oke ? ily lar . qis , da oke ngan amey ? hope u feel better . me ? da oke ngan him ? ntah lar . his ego is higher than klcc . ta suke ckp terus ta ske . i dun care 'bout it nyway . mayb i'm not suits u well . abg , na exam kan ry nie ? wat leklok oke ? jgn sik ingat kak sha jea . hahah . ha ! dun sleep ! abg uh bkan ley caye . kaki tidow . tmbah exam ptg2 nie . kul 2 smpy 4 . am i right ? watever it is , do the best ! assignment abg org bley tlg . but exam i can't . u're alone there . tp i know abg ley wat . trust me . org syg abg taw . u're my brother dari dulu till forever . u're great la abg ! oke , stops till now . daa ~~

messy life all da way.

babe ,

here i am ,

still in front of mama's laptop .

she's free now n dats y i'm here .

tried to throw up everything since yesterday .

oh yea .

happy independence day btw .

even it's late .

haha .

yesterday i wore kurung to mukhnisa .

amek berkat ramadhan .

hahah .

dey said dat i was 'ayu' with dat kurung .

it fits me well .

yek !

couldn't believe it .

back from it ,

i had a long conversation with him .

sms only .

he's realy not romantic ! frankly .

maybe he acted like dat juz with me .

so k then .

ur right !

after dat , sms-ed with azrul .

still a long period of time .

i asked him for the voice-sms since he had promised for dat .

he said he was not ready yet .

plus his voice ta sedap .

ello , i dun care oke .

my voice is so like dat .

perhaps .

but he said dat mine was perfect .

mcm cigu .

he heard me practicing at penang .

oh god ! shame ! shame !

he's crazy !

manje lar , husky2 , ape lar . bla . bla .

i couldn't say nothin' .

all i could is just laughing .

yes ! it was funny oke !

no one ever said dat to me .

but aida once said dat i had husky voice .

is it true ?

never noticed it . hahah .

tuday is another messy .

semlm malas na wat notes history .

so then tuday mcm lipas kudung wat .

siyesli .

time bio curi2 bwat .

time chemistry , math mode .

cigu i'm sorry . desperate . hehe .

tanggung lar fitrah .

sape suh awk rajin sgt .

lawan2 dgn saddiq , hajar , zirah , mirabell .

hahah .

smue golongan rajin wat nota lar nie .

gee .

finally i manage to finish it .

tepat2 cigu fatin masuk .

hahah .

tapi ,

it was irritating dat i'd to accept da fact dat cigu fatin ta nak pun nota .

terus masuk bab 8 .

oh gosh !

my hand was hurt .

penat jea gabra ta tentu pasal .

haish .

tp at least i berjaya gak lar finishkan note tuh .

eyt , smlm qis saket gusi .

pity her .

plus miss amey ag .

saba babe .

it'll be benefit later on .

tuday , my busuk is sick .

oh god ,

how me worried of her .

busuk , get well soon yea .

rajin2 makan ubat .

nty da sehat bley pegy skola .

i miss u lar dear .

oh over-writing .

pen-off now !

daa ~~

MeLaNcHoLiC..

babe,,
so long since da last one..
been missing blogging so much..
cpu broke down..
i admit dat was my fault..
over-limit maybe..
then mama abah boikot ta mau betulkan pc i..
benci betul..
so now da results,,
i'm blogging n myspacing using mama's laptop..
gasak lar..
janji i dpt on9..
separuh gler da..
many things happened during this period of time..
here are sum of that ;

pose pun da nak masuk 10 ary da..

but i think it's not too late to wish,,

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAK!

even i cn only manage to fast for 2 days only..

ugh!

7 days na kena ganti..

masak lar awk fitrah..

last year it was only 5..

then?

yea,,he has done an unexpected things past days..

he made me speechless nyway..

wat did he done?

he tagged me in ms..

under the word of "princess"!

oh gosh!

ape kena mamat nie?

wat he's trying to say?

ape maksud dye?

ello cik abg , i couldn't read ur heart n mind oke..

straight to da point bole kan?

busuk was laughing,,

she were not believe it also act..

mamat tuh mmg da sah2 gile lar..

god,,my heart beating real hard now..

wat can i say?

serah pada ketentuan Ilahi jea lar..

tuday i got new fwenz..

frankly,,he's a guy..

named akmal haziq..

my kazen introduced me to him..

ape motif pun ta taw..

so fwenz?

huluran perkenalan terjalin kini..

ta salah de rmai kawan ryte?

abg's kazen pun send his regards to me..

i bkan kenal pun..

lantak la haih..

huh,,
y i'm feelin lyke crying?
i'm useless isn't it?
mama keep scolding me..
itu tak kena..
ini tak kena..
y mama?
wat things i've done wrong?
org ta ske lar sik kena mrah jea..
org tau,,
org malas,,
ta pndy msak,,
ta pndy kemas umah,,
bgn pun lambat,,
masuk dapur jarang2,,
org tau org teruk,,
but plz,,
dun compare me with others!
kat skola kena compare,,
kat umah kena compare,,
org rimas lar!
i felt like nobody trust me..
smue org ckp i teruk..
i tau i teruk..
i ta pndy cm afifah..
i ta rajin cm shikin..
but i do hv my strength!
mama slalu ckp,,
bersyukur dgn ape yg kite ade..
but now?
with those compliments thrown to me??
cn u guarantee dat i could handle my mind from pkir bkan2??
tlg lar,,
i'm begging now!
accept me as who i am..
org ta nak jadi hipokrit..
klw btul org salah,,
tegur lar org baek2..
org bley trime..
but plz,,
dun ever compare me with anybody else..
u're not increasing my spirit instead throw it away to the dustbin..
org mohon..
faham lar org skaly nie aje..
i do want to feel appreciated lyke anybody else feel..
let me hv dat kind of feeling for a moment?
i couldn't handle it anymore..
is there any way dat i could run away from this?
truly,,
i'm realy sick n tired of this..
i'm afraid dat i'll lost in this battle of emotion..

i made a wed card tuday!

babe!

tensyennyer!

td da wat pjg2 dye ta save plak!

ugh! tenet cm bodo ar!

tape2..

write it again fitrah..hish ilang idea da...

- tuday woke up at 10.15 . early than yesterday . early lar sgt! uwwek!
- ponteng skola ag tuday . pecah rekod minggu nie one day only pegi skola . teruk betul . ello . skola i ade H1N1 taw . abah mama ckp ta yah pegi . kte kena patuh ckp mereka btul tak ? hahah . alasan ! take for granted ! tape , skali-skala jea . gee .
- las nyte i dreamt of kna mrah ngan tch punitha sbb lmbat angkat baldi air . wat da heck i wanna do wit dat pale ? ngarut . ngarut!
- i didn't touch even a single inch of da book tuday . means ta study lar tuh . ta study maknenyer omework pun ta wat ag lar kan ? pe nak jd fitrah . malas sgt nieyh ? ble na jd rajin ? tgk lar taon dpan kowt . wat?!
- hearing ' my baby you ' by marc anthony now! boy,,dis song is specially dedicated for you oke!
- away to my village dis nyte! ghombau mari! hahah . kenduri umah nenek tghari sok . sunday mlm umah opah . uish . kurus lar i 2 days non-stop . gahah . tape , i syg nenek ngan opah i . rela berkorban punyer . hak2 .
- da conclusion is , omework i sure2 ta wat . then tangguh ary isnin baru wat . is it true ?! yup . u know da means of M.A.L.A.S ? huh . reason ag fitrah . gahah .
- last but not least , monday i nak smbung pose ganti i yg berbaki 5 ary ag . uish . byknyer! tuh lar , sape suh mlas ryte ? hak2 . period lar kacau . kowt tak , dis week da settled da kan . jgn salahkan takdir fitrah . hak2 . wish me luck taw !
- take care ! will continue my journey back from kampung k ? kat kampung tade tenet lorh . hak2 . daa~~