LELAH ITU INDAH

Babe . what on earth i'm stating this out of sudden ? pepel always ask me , how's your life noww ? being a medical student , fun enuff ? normally i would say , haha bolehlahh so far . but actually , try to be in our shoe , only for a DAY , then you'll know exactly how suffer we are . i'm a first year MBBS student . that would be our answer if pepel ask about us . then their answer would be , whoaaaaa genius student . budak pandai . syoknyaaaa bla bla bla . but trust me , it is not as syok as what you guys think . okaylahh as such orang pandang tinggi budak MBBS , glamour and so whatever . it's not enuff with that . we dont get involve with MBBS just to seek for glamour and fame . its more than that . fame tuhh takde erti punn in reality . being a MBBS student means that we have to sacrifice almost 80% of our leisure time . yes its the real truth . unless you guys memang genius tahap gifted yang study sekali terus stick inside your brain until you end your fifth year .

the prove is that , this post is actually tertangguh hampir 3 hari . start writing on Tuesday tapi petang nehh baru terlaksana . just sebab i am too busy with all the works and stuffs . but i try to finish it sebab dahh janji dengan makcu kann . heeee . maybe sebab aku memang pemalas . and maybe bcuz im still cannot totally adapt with my current lifestyle noww . walaupunn dahh sebulan lebih jadi student . kalau dulu in PASUM , we got 4 subjects ; Physics , Chemistry , Bio and Maths . still can relax2 what . tutorial buat last min , tak jadi hal . lab report buat ala-ala jea , asal siap , no problem . tidow dlm lecture , itu biasa . study for mid sem , and even for final , the night before it , bolehh jea survive . yet now ?? try to maintain with that PASUM's attitude if you already have "repeat year" in your mind plan .

MBBS and Asasi Sains Hayat is so2 different . even here we have lesser subject ; Anatomy , Physiology and Biochemistry . wahhh tengok mcm heaven jea kann ? nampak jea sikit . actually it's not . Anatomy still got 3 division . Histology , Gross and Embryology . Histology got lab . Anatomy got disection lab as well . got SDL session indeed once in a while . Physiology got 3 hrs practical session every week together with 1 hour tutorial . Biochem got PSS session , also 3 hrs every week with 1 hr of tutorial . itu baru 3 subject compulsory . we also have elective subject jugaaa okayy . memang dia dahh tak reti nak kurangkan beban student . lagi menambah ada . Monday , got Hubungan Etnik class from 5 till 7 PM ! same like Weds , we have Entrepreneurship class instead of Etnik . at the same time . tuhh belum masuk kelas DPHS , Clinical Skills , Communication Skills which will be fit in between the gap sometimes . haha ngeri kannn jadi MBBS student nehhh . ingat heaven ke ? NOOOO ! Basically , our schedule from Monday to Thursday starts as early as 8am and end up at 7pm . jumaat jea heaven sikit sebab finish at 11.30 am . itu punn IF we dont have to visit PPUM or so whatever other program that popped out tiba-tiba . and jangan shocked lahhh if nanti masa degree you all tgk budak engineering punya timetable sehari only got 2 hrs or 3 hrs lecture with so many lompong2 in their timetable , but yours is totally full until 7pm with only 1 or 2 hr gap in between for your break . so , to adik2 yang asyik mengeluh merungut belajar di Asasi , Matriks sangat penat , sangat meletihkann , trust me , it is more leisure than what you think ! appreciate it selagi mampu . i used to be the person yang selalu merungut dulu , but nowww im begging for my leisure life as an Asasian back . jadi MBBS student sangat melelahkan .

if dulu , one note for many lectures ahead . noww , one THICK notes will be finished in one hour lecture . imagine engine kuasa ape this lecturers are using . they're giving the lectures so fast like a bullet and kita yang dengar like melopong sambil terkial-kial nak fahamkan and nak salin ape yang dia ckp . sangat susah . and prepare for the bigger file sebab right noww , i just being here for a month but my notes for every subject dahh setebal novel cinta . so kalau dahh begitu , memang takkan sempat lahh nak revised semua sekali waktu malam final . menangis jea lahh yang mampu . so noww , study kena consistent . every night kena selak gakk balik ape yang dah blaja walaupun sikit . which memang bukan aku yang dulu . jangan haraplahh nak study unless tuhh minggu final . tapi noww punn lebih kurang jea perangai senanyaa . tak berubah2 . haishhh teruknyaa perangai . nowww , habit dulu kena gakk ubah by hook or by crook . about the study technique , if we depends on lecture notes only , bererti kau membuang masa sahaja sebab kau takkan faham . maka haruslah kita berkawan baik dengan textbooks yang maha tebal itu . by the end of this year , aku rasa aku dahh develop biceps muscle dahh kottt . thanx to those atlas and textbooks yang sering aku usung ke sana ke mari . -.-"

during this one month ++ period , most of the time , aku selalu blur dalam lecture . yeah main cause is sebab mengantuk . even all the lectures are during morning in the timetable , still this ilyana tersengguk-sengguk gakk dlm lecture . i dont know what happened . maybe sebab every night i stay up until 2 or 3 , and even until 3.30 am . so bila siang , otak jadi cepat penat . plus lecturers yang cakap sangat laju sebab nak habiskan so MANY things in one hour time , memang aku rasa separuh mati nak catch up every single thing .  masa mula-mula dulu , heaven lahh sikit sebab lectures punn just intro to this system , that system , benda-benda basic only . takdelahh rasa teruk sangat kalau sleep dalam lecture punn . but after about 2 weeks , it getting harder . dahh masuk core things . protein biochem , blood physio , upper limb muscle , bones and so whatever , memang aku struggle gilaaa dalam kelas . kalau dahh terlelap 5 mins tuhh rasa bersalah sangat-sangat . byk benda you will miss even in that only 5 mins . so , haruslahh kita bertindak bijak kannn . as for perempuan yang tak reti nak hidup waktu pagi nehhh , she will record the lectures using her Samsung yang sangat awesome tuhh . awesome sebab sanggup berbakti tolong dengar lecture setiap pagi to replace her tuan yang lupa daratan . kesian . so , bila kita nak study balik , just listen to what my Samsung kesayangan had recorded . yeayyyy convenient kannn ? tutorial , PSS , practical session punn akan direcord if rasa mcm tak mampu nak catch up segala maklumat yg dimuntahkan lecturer . haha tapi sampai noww , aku just record jea tanpa sempat aku dengar balik . lagi lupa diri . nowww you know how busy medical student is .

right nowww , it doesnt matter where you studied before . and it doesnt guarantee anything even how excellent you are before . being a first year MBBS student , fresh start , yeahh freshie as well , all of us started at the same level . from the ground . we have to build up our base all over again . sebab everything is totally different than the life and experience before . its totally not similar . kalau dulu , lecturer ajar dalam lecture sangat detail , sangat particular . but noww , their aim is to finish it within the time frame . that's all . it's your own effort to study and revise back , ask your colleague for explanation in terms and concept that's hard to understand , refer to the books and atlas for the difficult terms , Mr Google yang genius ponn akan jadi bestfriend terbaik all the time , and most important thing is during tutorial , PSS , PBL , practical , SDL , disection , clinical or other session , itu waktu yang paling crucial for us to grab as many information as we can from our lecturers and tutors . ask as many question as we can if kita tak faham . during that time , they will try to make us understand things better . tapi , nak tanya punnn , we still have to study first . in degree , when we ask questions , we will get question back as an answer . trust me , you will . so prepare first before asking a question to the lecturers kalau kita nak soalan kita dijawab .

Another thing , its normal if we are feeling so down sometimes . it is normal for a MBBS student . even the seniors said so . and jangan terkejut bila one day kita rasa kita dahh study , kita dah faham , kita dahh master on certain topic , tapi in the end bila jawab soalan PSS , or soalan tutorial , we seemed like know nothing . sebab in degree level , soalan dia bukan mcm soalan PASUM yang direct . that one , we have to realize . and jangan sedih bila kita faham konsep nyaa begini , tapi masa tutorial kita tanya lecturer , discuss among our friends , then baru kite sedar kite dahh salah faham , salah tafsir and salah konsep . it hurtful somehow . it bring stress everyday . that is why the discussion session among our colleague is VERY important . yes it is . waktu discussion lahh baru kita tahu ape yang kita still blur , ape yang orang lain blur tapi kita tahu , then we can give and take . sharing everything yang kita ada with all of our friends . kalau kat PASUM dulu boleh jea survive even perangai macam katak bawah gelas , here in MBBS , its totally a NO attitude . tolak tepi or even throw the ego away if you can . just mingle among all the friends regardless the race . its not important for us to be the first , the thing that matter is that all of us get a chance to be a good doctor in future . thats all . yesss , student MBBS tahun nehhh i think sangat unite . im glad for that surely . no racist and selfish sangat . it still has tapi tak serious mana punn so okayylahhh . then dahh dapat friends yang baik , tak kedekut ilmu , roommate yang superb , nice and nak study sama-sama , ape lagi yang takk cukup kann ilyana ? you have more than enuff . tinggal effort dan motivation sendiri yang nak belajar , rajin bertanya and do the discussion that matters noww . so , bersyukur !

hmmm there's a lot of things to be said . tapi i just dont know what it is right now . i have to prepare for my PBL session tomorrow . so later on , much more things will come up sebab my journey is just started . it still a very long path ahead . so , feel free to read and feel free to leave as well . this is my life . if you think you cant fit into my life , its not my fault . its okayy you may leave because i will not change the way i write just nak memuaskan hati one person . frankly , i dont need somone that sees only what's good about me . i need someone that sees the bad and the flaws inside me , and still choose to stay with me . so i dont mind at all :)

and lastly , kenapa lelah itu indah ?  because whatever difficulties stated above , whatever sighing i made above , and whatever complaint written above , it is all happened because of my own choice , doing what i really want to do , enjoying my passion on the journey of becoming a doctor . for me there is no turning back . if i give up now , that makes me weak , that makes me a failure , that proves everyone else who doubted my ability right , and myself wrong . so i promise i will keep on doing what i think i do best : PROGRESS .

Worth a try ,

Fitrah Ilyana .