KEKUATAN

Babe ! im thinking of something . yang maybe nampak simple , tapi semua orang perlu tahu . semua orang perlu tahu yang kita tak patut menghakimi orang sewenang hati dan akal . semua orang ada konflik yang mungkin tak kita tahu . perempuan yang bertudung litup dan berhijab itu mungkin sentiasa struggle untuk menunaikan solat tepat pada waktunya . perempuan yang menghadapi masalah untuk berhijab di depan khalayak itu mungkin tidak pernah meninggalkan solat dan sentiasa solat pada waktunya . perempuan yang bersolek dan ber'make-up' yang dikatakan macam tepung gomak itu mungkin menghafal juzuk amma . dan perempuan yang berniqab itu mungkin menghadapi masalah untuk membaca al-Quran dengan tajwid yang betul . the truth is , we are all struggling with something or another, takde siapa yang sempurna kat muka bumi nehh . tapi , people seem to think a person who dresses a certain way or look a certain way is more pious than another person . iman tak diukur berdasarkan luaran fizikal semata-mata . ianya lebih dari itu . :)

Yang hina ,

Fitrah Ilyana .

TITANIUM - A REPLY TO YOU

Babe . frankly speaking , im not even ready to put up a post yet . facing through this page for like thousands times and end up close it back over and over again . its been a tough start though . i guess im not fully ready to face the world ; to tell world on what i've been through . but i know i have to put up something as soon as i saw this . you'll never strain yourself from doing what imma doing right now if you receive this .

Maybe it's the sign from Allah that i barely open my dashboard and found my name on the top of the page . babe , im touched . it never come across my mind that one day , my name will become the subject of the post . really . but , as soon as it did , it brought my tears up along . lost in the memories , im really glad i met you in the first place . yes , YOU . you who accept me as who i am . you who never complain on how clingy i am with you all this while . you who stick with me through thick and thin . through all the lectures , through all the tutorials and exams stress , through all the conflicts , through all the dilemmas , through all the crazy experiences , through all the adventurous moments , and through all our minutes and seconds together . and of course , you who never give up on me . like real NEVER . you never be a bad friend to me , babe . you're always one of the greatest . you're the very first roommate i've ever had . only God knows how scared i am to have a stranger sitting together with me , sharing a square , tiny , little room with this spoiled , childish brat . i bet i will be hated through the rest of my days back there . but , it turned out to be wrong . you never be one of those that appear in my imaginations . indeed , you are like my angel . take care of me , be with me all the time , help me with things , share things with me , having a girl talk with me every night , do almost everything with me ! i guess , it's more than enuff with the reasons why i should thank Allah for granted my prayers and gave me YOU . bear in your mind that you are not a bad friend at all . that's the first thing .

About me leaving you ? yes , you can say i leave you . in order for you to build your own strong base . but , it's not that i don't even care about you . it's not that i don't even know anything about you . i know you are sick . i know you are having your hard time . changing attendance physician , having to go for a regular check-up all by yourself , fighting with the inner feeling of receiving the blood result test , every details of your condition , i know . i know it so well . don't ask me where i know everything . we are basically the same person . i read your blog ; without even missing a single word and a single picture . frowning and crying when you sad . worried and scared like hell when you said you're sick . praying real hard when you have a doctor appointment , or when you'll be having any PT and PPD presentation . prayed silently that you will be just fine , just like you used to be when im around back before . glad of looking to that happy smiles of yours . breathed relief that you finally have a new hobby , new life , joining various activities , mingling around your roommates and friends . making me smiles that finally you are surviving and back to be your own self again . even though im not there to support you , im always here , tracking your life timeline ; through twitter , blog and other possible ways else . like all the time .

i miss you . i miss us . i know im keeping my distance from people . it's not only you . to everybody else . its not that im being ignorant upon your condition . NO ! im just feeling guilty . i cant do much . i just can listen . and it really makes me feel bad . yes , i really do . everytime you text me and told me that you're sick , i will end up not reply to ur text . i admit that . because i was sad . i feel bad as i cant be any help at all . im a doctor-to-be , wearing white coat like all the time , but i cant even help my own best friend when im needed the most . im so sorry . im being a bad friend .

Sorry for keeping my distance away from you and everybody else ; ayuni , din and others . its not that i hate you . i just dont know how to face everyone . im having a dilemma whether i should share my problems or not . everybody were busy , and i dont even sure that you will have time to listen to all my whine and sigh . my problem is not even a simple one , it involves life . the life of my loved ones . and i dont know if i could handle it well , and im not ready to tell everyone about everything . yes , it hurts , it hurts me so much that i have to keep it silent from every single person . only God knows how im struggling everyday , surviving through everyday , pray to Allah for keep my father alive for another day , living in the greatest fear here in UM while abah is at home , fighting his cancer by himself with only 12-years old Mukhriz by his side to take care of him . im here at UM . helmi is striving for his SPM in Jasin . mama's working real hard there in Kuala Lipis and leaving her sick husband at home . i bet no one will understand what we've been through all this while . my life is not like the other super ordinary happy 20-years-old teenagers life . maybe that is why im keeping my distance from all of you . because we are not in the same league anymore . im far steps behind . i hope you'll understand , even just a tiny piece on what i've been through . im so sorry , emira . like really sorry .

Thankyou for everything , sayang . you never be a bad friend to me . you will always be one of the greatest person i've ever had . don't blame yourself . never . im grateful enuff that you texted me every single day , since abah's gone , trying your very best to motivate me and make sure that im okay . i received and read everything ; repeated again and again to gain some courage through your words . it just that i dont have any strength to reply your text and any other people text . abah left me during the time that i really need him the most . abah left during my STUDY WEEK . when i need to prepare myself for the big battle on the upcoming week . its hard . its very hard enuff to wake up again and study when you already lost your father yesterday . trust me , no one will understand that kind of feeling .

Emira Ezuna , no matter how many good friends i met after you , your place in my heart will always remain the same . you will always be my best friend and remained like that forever . i never leave you , i never throw you away , you're always here with me all the time . i care about you , i love you , i miss you . please take good care of yourself , i cant bear to lose anyone that i love anymore . please be healthy , at least until i become a doctor . so that when that day comes , i know i can be useful for you . this is the least that i can do . you don't need any qualifications to be my friend . i never put one . and nothing is impossible , nothing is changed , because deep in my heart , i know we are still the same person as before . only time and fate distances us apart . dont worry about me . im titanium . i'll be just fine . i love you , sayang . :)

Emira's BFF ,

Fitrah Ilyana .

CERITA HATI

Babe . :')

saat aku hampir berputus asa , aku memilih untuk terus melangkah .

saat aku keliru dengan takdir Tuhan , aku memilih untuk percaya itulah yang terbaik buat diriku .

saat hidup ini diselubungi kekecewaan , aku memilih untuk bersyukur .

saat jalan hidup ini penuh dengan dugaan , aku memilih untuk berserah .

saat diri ini sering disakiti , aku memilih untuk memaafkan sahaja .

Ya Allah ,

hati ini sedih .

hati ini keliru .

hati ini sunyi .

tabahlah hati .

semua ini ujian . :')

Conass is over . it's not good , surely .

it's time to meet le family and neutralize segala rasa ini . esok jea lagik ilyana esok .

Tolong tabah !

Si Lembik ,

Fitrah Ilyana .

FOR YOU , E .

Babe . it's almost 2.30am right now . and yeah this owl decided to be awake right noww . instead of studying , im enjoying my so-called 'QUALITY TIME' on the youtube . like all the time . ohmyyy im screwed . conass in 2 weeks time and i know almost nothing . why are you being so lazy-bump ?!!!! nak lagi rasa dapat D ke ? haihhhhhhhh bila lahh nak berubah . okay dah boleh start rasa nak lempang diri sendiri .

hmmm you , my BFF . i read your blog just a while ago . without any reason , i know that the post is meant for me . ahaaa bingo . i know im a bad friend . but , i want you to know that i have my reason to do that . im not going to deny anything . yeah it's all my fault . a friend should not do what im currently doing right now . but i did . yeahhh , it takes a lot of courage to do so , you know ! you don't know how hurt i am to not be able to pick-up your call , to reply your text . it feels kinda hell . but , i need you to be strong . i need you to be stronger than i used to be , darling .

lemme tell you one story . back when i was a lil child , im not a favorable person . even until now , i think . but yeahh , now im getting used to it . so , who cares though ? it's my life anyway . when i was a lil girl , im very fat , my skin color is so dark , i have no confidence at all . who should i blame when i have my childhood memory as suck as that ? no one . because maybe that's my fate . so , move on . one day , i went to call abah . out of sudden , this one boy , throw a baby-fist sized stone right at my head . it hurt me so bad ! and yes , i cried . i went to abang and whined everything in tears . and i got this as he replied , "yang kau lembik sangat kenapa ? padan lah muka . sikit-sikit nak nanges . sampai bila pun budak tak nak hormat dekat kau ." and he went away just like that . and i was like , why he behaved like so ? he should protect me when nobody else didn't ! he should be the one i could rely on , but he acted as if it's nothing . at that time , i hated him for not protect me , not defend me , and not stay by my side .

TAPI , on the same day , when im about to go home , that guy who threw the stone to me earlier , he came to me and apologized . he said abang confronted him . and if he dare to hurt me again , my brother's gonna kill him . at that time , i realised what kind of abang i have . at home , i asked him , "kenapa abang biarkan kita sorang-sorang ? kenapa abang tak pujuk kita ?" and he answered as simple as this : "pokok yang besar , kuat dan kukuh itu berdiri tegak kerana apa ? kerana AKAR dia SENDIRI . tak macam pokok yang LEMAH , yang terpaksa menumpang , berpaut dekat pokok lain . kalau pokok yang dia tumpang tuh mati ? then dia tak mampu buat apa-apa melainkan cari pokok lain atau mati . i don't want you to be like that ever ! please be strong !" and at that moment , i realized that he purposely left me untreated , physically and emotionally , so that i can have my own space to build up my strength , SENDIRI . and since that , i know i have to be strong so that pepel will respect me .

sorry sayang , maybe aku terpaksa buat kau macam nehh . maybe sekarang kau rasa aku ignorant , tak pedulikan kau , aku takde bila kau perlukan aku sangat-sangat . aku mintak maaf . tapi sebenarnya itu gakk ape yang aku rasa dulu masa abang aku buat aku macam nehh . sama . serupa . tapi , percayalah , satu hari nanti kau akan faham kenapa aku buat kau macam nehhh . bukan aku tak sayang kau , bukan aku tak pedulikkan kau , tapi aku buat macam nehh , sebab aku sayang sangat dekat kau and aku harap sangat kau akan bangkit dan jadi lebih kuat dari aku . kau tak pernah jauh dari hidup aku . you're always with me . right here in every prays . satu hari nanti , bila kau dah cukup kuat , aku harap kau akan faham ape yang aku maksudkan . love you , Emira . :')

Bad 'chingu' ,

Fitrah Ilyana .

A THOUGHT

Babe .
every single second since i was born
she cared for me
she gave her all to raise me right
now that's a lot of caring
as anyone can see
mama,,i'm praying to Allah today
asking Him to bless you in every way
please Allah
protect my mother
and keep her safe from harm
for she is a cherished person
with great wisdom,,love and charm
she's smart and strong and all that's good
Ya Allah
she gives so much
give her happiness and peace and more
love her, Ya Allah; my mother, whom i adore
it's her birthday today
so please
help her to see
how much she means to us
her loving family.

Bersyukur ,

Fitrah Ilyana .

HOW COME I DON'T KNOW?

Babe . 

his lonely back seemed so unfamiliar

i just watched him as he walked along

and tears just formed

so i just cried

because i hated myself for not knowing all this time

because he always pretended to be calm and smiled

because he always pretended to be strong in front of me

i didnt even think about it

i thought i would never see it

so i didnt know about his lonely back

after watching him for a long time

i ran to him and just hugged him

i wanted to just cry

i wanted to cry in his arms

because my gratitude toward you was so sad

you pretend to feel better after letting out a deep sigh

i can see your invisible tears

you don't cry over your scarred hearts with painful wounds

i made those scars

but why do i keep blaming you ?

and your eyes showed you were tired

but you hid it such a liar

you are forever a high sky for me

your beaten hands

your wrinkled eyes

your lonely back

im not used to any of those

i didnt know back then

i was too young

you must have been lonelier than anyone else

but i didnt approach you

maybe that's why i was like that

that's why i hurt you

even your turned back seems like baggage that i left behind

now i finally know

i hope it's not too late

i haven't done anything for you

i haven't given anything to you

but

these are the words i wanted to say so much

i love you forever

ABAH :')

Abah's lil girl ,

Fitrah Ilyana .

FACT #7 SIAPA ILYANA ?

Babe ! dah agak lama blog nehh sunyi tanpa sebarang post . bukan menghilangkan diri , bukan sembunyikan diri . just sibuk . and itu membataskan aktiviti aku di sini . hmmm bukan senang jadi student kann . macam2 benda nak kena buat . and bukan senang gakk memegang amanah dan tanggungjawab . baru now aku sedar hakikat tuh . yeee , take home message is : bukan senang nak jadi senang . so , preserve every moment while it last . itu fakta . :)

back to the main reason i'm here . menyempurnakan cabaran yang tertangguh . haha aku tunaikan janji aku . cuma mungkin terlambat . sebab ternyata bukan senang rupanya nak carik masa untuk berfikir sedalam-dalam nya siapa FITRAH ILYANA di mata aku ? and now , akhirnya masa untuk berfikir itu tiba . here i am . to come up with 100 random facts about siapa aku ? haha yeee ini pun random . untuk semua , aku dedahkan sebahagian kecil rahsia hidup aku yang mungkin orang tak pernah tahu . enjoy if you want to know the real ilyana . ^^,

#1 ada habit suka tengok kuku sendiri lepas mandi . mcm comel dan sangat bersih .

#2 sebenarnya dah tahu membaca since umur jejak angka 3 .

#3 tak suka dengan sayur yang namanya carrot . the only carrot source yang mama berjaya usahakan adalah daripada air carrot susu and carrot cake Secret Recipe . demanding rupanya perempuan ini . nak SR sesaje .

#4 antara habit buruk yang berjaya dimiliki ialah menarik mascara dari bulu mata . and i end up mencabut sekali bulu mata sendiri . nasib tak botak bulu mata ._.

#5 im a specky . yes i am . sejak form 3 dah start pakai spec . sebab tak suka makan carrot agaknya , tuh pasal rabun awal . tapi sampai sekarang , tak pernah pakai spec all the time . on and off it is . rimas .

#6 selalu tidur merata , and tak tanggal spec . sleep with the spec ON is a major NO ! still , itu gak yang selalu perempuan nehh buat . and dats why mama melarang keras aku pakai contact lens . sebab habit suka membuta merata nehh lahhh .

#7 peminat warna neon . especially merah and orange . tapi setiap kali shopping , semua nya tukar jadi kaler pink . ehhh ?

#8 paling benci bila ada halangan time driving . block belakang orang , parking rapat-rapat , drive macam nak cium bontot kete orang , kau tak nampak eh kete aku ada P besar-besar ? be considerate boleh kan ? ingat aku tak takot ke ? rasa nak menangis .

#9 sentiasa ada konflik dalaman yang tak pernah selesai dengan abdomen dan drumstick sendiri . touch those parts and bear withh my rage for the next 10 years !

#10 speaking of novel , kesian mereka sebab hanya dibaca sekali sahaja . hanya yang bertuah dapat peluang lawatan semula . because i rarely ever read my novels twice . if i did , the second time will never finish .

#11 tak boleh dan tak tahu berenang . i can . however , do the dog paddle for like 20 seconds sebelum jadi macam dugong yang tenggelam . how i wish i could swim though . in all honesty .

#12 takot dengan kilat , petir dan bunyi benda asing . as if , any loud noises ?

#13 cepat mengaku kalah . kalau tak org keliling yang sentiasa suruh bertatih ke depan , aku tak akan melangkah sejauh ini agaknya .

#14 jenis orang yang tidur mengiring . mostly . at least , sebelum status tidur bertukar jadi terbungkang . ;)

#15 ada habit goyang-goyang kaki sebelum tidur . buat lullaby sendiri guna loceng gelang kaki mungkin .

#16 paling benci minum air panas . bila kena flu yang sangat sangat sangat teruk , then baru minum . kekerapan ? sebulan sekali mungkin ? ahaaaa

#17 meluangkan 99.9% masa yang terluang bersama-sama internet .

#18 my passion , aside from reading , is singing and has been since i can remember . tak boleh berpisah dengan muzik . muzik dah macam candu . i sing constantly , but i still can't figure out if i'm any good at it .

#19 sangat obses dengan anything yang ada kaitan dengan vanilla . walaupun hanya pada nama . yeee , even perfume pun nama Vanilla Musk .

#20 pernah ada penyakit suka gigit kuku yang sangat kronik . until i stopped at 14 bila dah muak asek kena tampar dengan abang . ewwwww .

#21 long walks is a major turn-on !

#22 benda pertama yang akan menarik magnet mata bila jumpa orang ialah JARI dia . jangan tanya kenapa sebab aku takde jawapan yg solid untuk tuh . i just love to .

#23 is my birthday ! yeayyyyy ! i think i have a unique birthday date . and thanks mama sebab lahirkan kita on this date ; 23/03/1993 .

#24 insan paling cuai di dunia . rutin wajib setiap hari : langgar something , tertinggal stuffs dekat memana and tersungkur . ughhhhh !

#25 automatik jadi perempuan ganas bila ada beruks2 around . diorang guru terbaik dan bertanggungjawab atas transformasi mendadak ini . HOWEVER ! walau seberuks mana pun mereka , walau seganas mana pun mereka , i cannot imagine how my life will be without them ; my beruks brotha ;)

#26 i always have this thought in my mind dari dulu sampai sekarang ; every book that we've read is just a different combination of 26 letters yet each one has something so different and special to give . unik kan ? sebab tuh agaknya sampai sekarang aku masih , perlu dan akan terus membaca . :)

#27 i am a k-pop fan maniac . caci maki lahh aku , aku tak pedulik . im still one sampai bila-bila .

#28 one of my dream place is i-City Shah Alam . noob gila kann tak pernah pergi situ . tak pedulik lahh , im dying to go there ! future-boyfriend yang taktahu siapa lagik , jom bawak itewww pegy i-City ?! menggatal !

#29 im always wish to spend the whole night on the streets . just walking around and watch the stars. simply PERFECT .

#30 aku tak pernah menyesal atas semua yang aku dah buat or semua yang aku dah cakap . kenapa ? because if we spent the rest of our lives regretting everything , then we wouldn't really be living at all . stop moping around . everything's happen ada reason kann ? semua kerja Allah . semua yang terjadi ketentuan Allah . kita tinggal redha , terima dan percaya sahaja . as easy as that .

#31 i love walking in the rain . awwwwww :')

#32 TAPI ! setiap kali pakai baju warna putih , mesti akan hujan ! so basically yeahhh coincidence like that happened . which i dont know why . *garukepala*

#33 bila otak serabut , bila nak tidur tapi hati tak senang , usually i will listen to piano instrumental song . it lessen my burden a lil bit . maybe sebab terlalu indah .

#34 suka bau bilik MANDI (bukan jamban atau tandas) lepas digunakan . especially pagi-pagi time mamai mandi nak pergi kelas . so refreshing and make my day .

#35 i have a HUGE sweet tooth . sweet itu hanya penyedap hati sendiri . buang jea perkataan tuh kalau rasa terlalu annoyed .

#36 i'm a natural-born OBSERVANT . i recognized faces way too easily . walau dah 10 tahun tak jumpa pun , still tak lupa muka orang . and i can tell who is who just by looking at the person's gestures . talent yang terpupuk sebab selalu tak pakai spec dan tak mahu digelar sombong sebab jalan tak nampak orang .

#37 antara benda tergila yang aku pernah buat masa dekat PASUM dulu is that , pergi sahur dekat KFC PJ , dengan Emira , Ayuni and Paan pukul 2 setengah pagi . and the thing is , we went there dengan pakai baju tidur bodoh . taktahu pikir ape masa tuh , berani memalukan diri sendiri .

#38 dulu masa kecik , ada kecelaruan identiti . macam-macam dream jobs ada . jadi CASHIER antara dream job paling obses . tapi finally , im stucked here , struggling to become a doctor . i wondered where have my obsession of CASHIER been lost ? it's much easier , aite ? ahaaaa naaa it's a joke . bear with me .

#39 masa darjah 4 , degil nak gosok baju raya sendiri . last-last i burnt my baju raya yang tak pernah pakai langsung lagik . and sampai sekarang mama tak tahu aku dah koyakkan kain baju raya tuh sebab aku pakai kain berlubang tuh seharian dengan tujuan mengaburi mata mama .

#40 i always want to learn to play piano whenever i see a piano or nampak orang main piano . i think they are COOL in some ways .

#41 aku blogger yang paling merepek . yeah i know im a bad blogger . menulis ikut rasa , ikut emosi . sangat tak matang . but who cares ? tak suka jangan baca kan ? sila tekan butang X kaler merah kat hujung tuh .

#42 Tends to shout if rasa takott and terancam . yes , call it a REFLECT , but i call it as a COWARD ACT . ;)

#43 everytime disuruh pilih satu nombor , it must be 3 . i think i know why . because of #23 :)

#44 other than badminton and netball , i've never been an athlete . jogging 100m , lepas tuh dah jalan lenggang mak limah . harapan .

#45 i have been told for most of my life that i'm too sensitive . i hate being yelled at and i cry way too easily . dasar cengeng tak kena tempat .

#46 sangat insecure waktu packing barang . normally i will pack extra cloth in case anything happened . like really extra . if you know what i mean ?

#47 sangat teliti dan sangat cerewet masa mem-packing barang . haruslah begitu . susah nanti kan kalau tiba-tiba kita nak guna barang tuh , sekali lupa bawak . menyampah nya ! ughh i hate packing .

#48 satu family tahu keobsesan aku dengan wedding gown kembang ala cinderella . so i can often be found wandering around wedding gown boutique near and far .

#49 i used to have my own imaginary plane here in seremban . it's actually model kapal terbang for one of the syarikat pelancongan yg ada dekat seremban . masa kecik dulu , mama abah selalu bawak aku jalan-jalan memalam pergi bandar sebab nak tgk model kapal terbang nehh . and it's still there until now . dan that plane will always be my plane sampai bila-bila .

#50 i have a strange connections with shoes - wedges especially . sebab everytime shopping , mesti akan terbabas beli kasut . geram sangat tengok kasut comel comel .

#51 benda pertama aku akan buat as soon as celik mata adalah menggelupur bangun cari telefon tengok jam . ada habit telinga pekak time tidow tak dengar bunyi alarm , takott terlajak tidow .

#52 i am NOT a morning person ! in fact , i'm the WORST morning person EVER ! if i'm forced to wake up early , i cannot have a proper manners for at least an hour .

#53 i cherish my moment watching indon muvie titled "Eiffel, I'm In Love" over and over again . the only indonesian movie that i love and i enjoy . and if you wish to know , this movie succeeded in making me giggled happily . *wink ! wink !*

#54 rambut masa kecik tak ubah macam pakai topi keledar . kulit tembikai yang dah belah dua tuh selalu jadi topi aku dulu . kerja abang !

#55 stop breastfed sejak umur 3 bulan lagik . amazingly , i have like a very good immunity sebab jarang sangat-sangat demam . badan nehh faham agaknya mama dia dulu sibuk kerja . mihihi .

#56 i have asthma . tapi tak pernah bawak inhaler pergi mana-mana . bajet handal . i seldom get an attack anyways . thats why .

#57 sangat allergic dengan powder detergents . jari akan jadi kering and it invites lesions (kulit terbelah) all over my fingers and palm .

#58 home-made porridge by mama and makcu will never fail to make me feel absolutely good .

#59 currently aiming for Nike's neon-coloured sport shoes . JPA dah masuk nehh . ehem ehem ;D

#60 i sleep with my caterpillar in between my legs , pillow made my nenek on my back , and my pooh BB in my cuddle . ohhh , not to forget , my panda on my face and selimut covering my whole legs . i think you have to blame my insecurity that i become a high maintenance sleeper over here .

#61 rasa sangat sakit hati bila tengah texting orang tanya "makan apa?" ehhhh hello , takkan lahh aku nak bagitahu semua benda yg aku makan kottt ? please have a sense can you ?

#62 always have that kind of bias when it comes to romantic comedy and chick-flick movies . my horrible guilty pleasures !

#63 smoker is a major NO for me . you can smoke , but NOT in front of me kalau taknak kena sound .

#64 me and cats will never get along . im an ailurophobic - irrational fear of cats . dont ask me why . i will never tell you why . it's embarassing enuff .

#65 selalu teringin to be in the shopping complex or the themepark bila dah tutup . mesti seronok kann tak payah bersesak dengan orang and i can do whatever i wanna do tanpa perlu berebut dengan crowd .

#66 tangan tak pernah duduk diam bila tengah bercakap . even when im on the phone with somebody .

#67 i always wear my handbag on my right shoulder . like ALWAYS . it has to be on the right side .

#68 i really love listening to my own laugh after i have been crying . it sounds retarded , tapi lega .

#69 i bring my family along no matter where i go . how ? i wear abah's watch , mama's necklace , abang's T-shirt , Helmi's tracksuits and Adik's pencil case . ironic , aite ?

#70 i am always cold like that .

#71 cuddling is the best thing ever !

#72 i actually owned a pair of hazel eyes , which i never notice until my friends ask me for conformation .

#73 i am easily scared and i hate it . i used to be a really big scaredy cat , but i am a lot better than i used to be now . 

#74 im not afraid of height . but im really afraid being at the edge of somethings . it really freaks me hell out yeah .

#75 my most favorite sweets is ice-cream . mint chocolate chip is always a YES !

#76 all chocolate made me craved except for white choc . muak !

#77 tak boleh pegang or garu tapak kaki sendiri . geli sangat sangat sangat . kalau gatal , suruh adik garu kan . mihihi .

#78 benci lelaki yang tak reti nak commit . tolong responsible sikit , boleh kann ?

#79 i love fashion very much , but i'm most comfortable at home in my sweatpants and t-shirt .

#80 french fries , of any kind , is one of my biggest weaknesses in the world . i have no sense of self control when they're around .

#81 i've always struggled with anything "dilemma" related . and i'm very bad in choosing between TWO .

#82 i love any sort of ballad music and will listen to it all the time .

#83 i am the biggest baby bila tengok sad movies or shows .

#84 i can work or read with the TV on in the background , but i love listening to music instead . 

#85 without abang , i'm the oldest . or else , i never think i'm one .

#86 binatang tanpa bulu is my biggest fear after cats .

#87 i'm a really , really , really impatient person . it's bad , and i admit it .

#88 i have always been short for my age . katik , to be precise . maybe sebab tuh sangat suka pakai heels .

#89 i love to laugh . im an easy going person i guess ?

#90 i am very easily distracted . and it crashed my mood .

#91 i hate plain milk , i only like flavoured milk . ohhh i LOVE milkshake so much !

#92 sangat pemalas mengemas . suruhlah berjuta kali , tapi i only cleaned my room when i really want to .

#93 the year i was born . yipppeeeee ! 20 years alive , i realized im growing up very well . somehow , i feel so glad i am belong to this kind of family . family time is my favorite . we have such busy lifestyles these days that we really value our time together with the families .

#94 i cannot catch . if you throw something to me , 99% of the time it will land on my feet .

#95 i am quite easily pleased and a very excited person .

#96 i actually named after 'FITRAH' because i was born one day before raya . and sebab itu , abah kena bayar zakat fitrah 2 kali untuk tahun tuhh . or else my name would be "NUR ILYANA" . honestly i love FITRAH sebab orang lain takde nama seunik nama itu . individuality is always good . ;)

#97 always admiring over Audi models . it's nice and super cute !

#98 insan yang sangat manja tahap gunung Everest .

#99 i love minimalism . and dats why i hate make-up .

#100 bahasa rojak is my favorite . sorry sebab seluruh post ini lebih teruk dari rojak . aku selesa dengan gaya penulisan begini . buat aku rasa lebih bebas to express myself . mohon cekgu-cekgu jangan marah sebab other than this place , this site , i have to be so nerd with all the discipline . so , yeahhh ,  this is ME !

Please comment if you think i'm not one of those stated above . Maybe aku tertipu diri sendiri , maybe korang lebih kenal aku dari aku kenal siapa aku kann . so yeahhh , thanks for reading ! thanks sebab sudi kenal siapa saya . XOXO , see ya !

I am who I am ,

Fitrah Ilyana .

I'M GROWING UP!

Babe . rindu . biasa lah dah naik belajar balik , lappy pun tak sempat sentuh . Alhamdulillah , now dah jadi 2nd year medical student , and penghuni tetap Kolej Kediaman Ibnu Sina (KKIS) . lain rasanya , semuanya baru . dan segalanya terasa asing .

Kolej ? im staying in blok F . blok senior fourth year . mula-mula daftar , sedih rasa hati sebab kena duduk blok asing dengan kawan-kawan MBBS lain . tertanya-tanya gak , ape salah aku tercampak kat blok F nehh ? dah lahh duduk paling ceruk dekat hujung dunia . keliling blok lelaki plak tuh . then dah sampai bilik baru perasan , hanya 6 orang jea budak MBBS 2nd year yang duduk situ . me , nasha (my roomate) , dina , azira , zati and farah . and baru sedar yang dekat blok F tuh , double room . 2 orang satu bilik . blok G yang budak-budak batch kitorg yang lain duduk tuh triple room . 3 org satu bilik . yeahhh , hati rasa bersyukur gakk . sebab lagik selesa sebenarnya duduk 2 org . ada pro and cons gak actually . yg pro nya bilik lagik selesa and luas sikit . yang cons nya , sedih sebab tercampak dekat hujung dunia tuh berenam . kesian . last2 , memang dok rapat berenam jea . sebab itu jea muka yang nampak hari-hari . teman bergurau dalam bilik , teman bertekak , bergaduh pun itulah juga . sedih sebenarnya jadi insan terpinggir nehh . tapi nasib badan gak lah sebab enam2 kaki gelak . baru seminggu duduk blok tuh dah kena shhhhh dengan siapa entah taktahu sebab bising sgt . haiyooo payah gak sebenarnya duduk dengan senior nehh kan . takpelah , ape boleh buat . harung saja . setahun bukan lama punn . positive ilyana positive ! :D

Then , i asked dina how kitorg boleh dapat bilik 2 org sedangkan others stay in 3 . then , dina ckp sebab kitorang semua UMcares . so prof june bagi privilege duduk double room . and , privilege come after the sacrifice . so , kesimpulannya dapat double room sebab under UMcares . and secara rasminya , bermula lah tugas aku sebagai setiausaha projek UMcares . yang secara tak langsung under JTK . lepas tuh join projek kolej pulak . hmmm jangan sibuk sampai lupa diri plak yee ilyana . study is always number one . ingat tuh sampai bila-bila . kena pandai balance everything okay ! :)

Roommate baru ? nama dia Nasha . bendahari UMcares . she's one of the A student in our batch . sila bangga siket . budak average duduk dengan budak brilliant . seriau gakk . takpe . mana lah tahu lepas nehh pun berjangkit dekat aku , boleh dapat A . aminnnn ! mudah-mudahan . heeee . nasha nehh budak Kedah . kawan baik aku punn orang kedah ; tirah dengan hanna . so it's not a big problem for me to communicate with her . since sama batch , dah kenal dah lahhh makcik yang penuh lemah-lembut nehh . lagipun hari tuh kan dah jumpa and makin rapat masa IMSPQ . so tak rasa awkward sangat dahh . as time goes by , makin lama makin sedar yang otak sama jea gila . yeahhh ,so basically takde masalah dengan roommate . dahh duduk terceruk 6 orang nehhh , kenalah pandai2 hidup bersama . ^^,

Study ? hmmm this year belajar 4 major subject including 2 minor subject and CSU together with CFCS . so altogether makes it to 8 . haaa amekaww . 4 major subjects ; pathology , pharmacology , medical microbiology (MMB) and parasitology . baru minggu first , still blur-blur lagikk . new terms , new concept , new creatures . banyaknya nama parasite , nama bacteria , nama virus nak kena hafal and ingat . T.T and still tak boleh beza antara MMB dengan parasito . :3 takpe , slow-slow kayuh ilyana . mesti boleh . 2 minor subjects ; DPHS - epidemiology and statistic , dengan english technical writing . so , kena asah balik otak untuk belajar maths . apelahh nasib . CSU is still there , and it's a lot more than first year . looks like i have to bear it all . what to do . >.<

Now labmate ? haaa nampaknya jodoh aku dengan Jocelyn tetap utuh dan kuat . kitorang labmate , CSUmate , English-mate , and kesimpulannya kitorang satu group in everything except for PBL . yeahhh , Jocelyn is my true mate . haha . now , im in Lab 6 . kalau dulu jiran sebelah dalam lab Iza . noww , jiran sebelah dalam lab is Lee Seek Yang . hadoyyy , masuk air aku lepas nehhh dapat lab partner otak macam Seek Yang . and lab kali nehh , majority muka-muka baru . orang yang tak pernah satu lab dengan aku except for Seek Yang and Jocelyn . Seek Yang dulu satu group English . hopefully can get along with them very well since some of them pernah cooperate dalam projek fakulti gakk . goodluck Lab 6 ! let's start our first practical next week . :)

So , basically itulah pengalaman serba sedikit . still too early to judge anything . let's just hope and keep praying that everything can happen smoothly , and i can pass my 2nd year with ease and proceed to my first clinical year ahead . since junior dah belajar pakai new syllabus , then our coordinator cakap by hook or by crook , we must pass our 2nd year . if not , we won't get the chance to repeat year anymore . okayy , itu sumpah hardcore ! scary gilaaa . so dats why , kena sentiasa sedar diri and teruskan study biar sampai lulus . :/

by the way , junior dah masuk . we already met them . and buddy ? hmmm , kak shida asked me to find one . and the lucky buddy kecik yang dah di-aim itu is a guy . let's just hope buddy kecik itu masih available menjelang hari isnin nanti . maaf sebab akak senior ini masih belum berani nak approach awak masuk buddyline . malu mungkin ? ohhh tak . maybe takot di-reject . ahahaha . till then , XOXO love ya !

2nd year medical student ,

Fitrah Ilyana .

DAY 25: A SONG I COULD LISTEN TO ALL DAY WITHOUT GETTING TIRED OF

Babe ! yeayyy finally . i barely made it to the last one before i get into the prison back . penjara 2nd year . makin sibuk mungkin . siapa tahu . subjek makin bertambah . tapi at least , dah berjaya sampai ke hujung , rasa nak bangga siket . ^^,

Dah nak masuk belajar balik , macam-macam rasa ada dalam fikiran . risau nak tinggalkan abah sorang2 waktu siang . adik sekolah . makcu kerja abang kerja . macam mana ? kalau abah nak tinggal dekat rumah ibu ayah dulu sementara makcu balik kerja petang , aku bersyukur sangat . tolonglah setuju abah . kalau tak , tak senang hati nak pergi belajar . takot nak masuk tahun baru . belajar benda baru . duduk dewan baru ; bukan DK lagikk dah , tapi DJ plak skang : Dewan Jemerlang . duduk kolej baru ; dulu 2nd , now 6th . macam mana lah kalau tiap-tiap tahun kena lalui proses adaptation . takpe ilyana , kau akan biasa kalau dah lelama . dulu masa masuk first year lagik takot . siapa pun tak kenal . tapi hidup jea , survive jea sampai sekarang kan ? so 2nd year nehh , mesti tak ada masalah punya lahh . be strong okies dear ? :)

Masuk sem kali nehh , semua nya rasa berbeza . aku sedar aku dah tak boleh bergantung dengan mama abah lagik . noww mama dah jauh , abah pun dah sakit . cukuplah dulu masuk PASUM dengan masuk first year , mama abah dah hantar , teman pergi daftar , siap tolong angkut barang lagik sampai ke bilik . barang2 punn mama abah unpack siap susun dalam almari . zaman bermanja macam tuh dah takde lagi ilyana . now , masa untuk menjadi lebih matang . jangan nak harapkan mama abah lagikk . sekarang semua kena buat sendiri . first time nehh nak daftar masuk kolej tanpa mama abah . tapi , hati tetap bersyukur abang sanggup galas semua tanggungjawab nehh semata-mata untuk adik dia . nasib baik dia tak buat perangai nak biarkan aku junjung bantal gendong baldi naik KTM . terima kasih abang . labiu ! ^_^

Dahlah takmo sedih-sedih lagi . janji nak jadi kuat kann ? so , nowww senyum . and tukar topik . ;)

Balik ke landasan . lagu yang dengar berkali-kali dalam sehari punn tak jemu . first , lagu tuh lagu Korea . second , penyanyi lagu tuh , vocal diorg memang sumpah mantap . lagu ape punn diorg nyanyi semua sedap . third , aku suka lagu tuh sebab aku rasa muzik dia memang mendayu-dayu . im a ballad maniac remember ? and last , aku mmg type yang suka mendera perasaan sendiri . lagu neh chorus dia memang rasa mcm menderita sangat . lirik dia pun sedih . so , i can listen to this song over and over again without getting bored to . lagu nehh korang wajib dengar . please , lagu nehh jea tau . :D

Davichi - Don't You Know

Abang kata peha aku lagi besar dari peha abah dah noww . nampak tak betapa kurusnya abah , atau betapa jahanamnya mulut abang menganjing aku tak sudah2 . GRRRRRR ! XOXO , love ya !

I Know It ,

Fitrah Ilyana.

DAY 24: A SONG THAT I HAVE DANCED TO WITH MY BEST FRIEND

Babe ! tadi ada budak cengeng tuhh menangis . sumpah tak malu . pergi ambik adik balik sekolah , kereta breakdown tgh jalan . tak boleh naik bukit . panic mode activated . tekan minyak sampai habes punn kereta tak naik2 jugak . temperature dah naik plak tuh . punyalah gabra sampai lampu emergency pun lupa duduk kat mana . tarik handbrake , tutup aircond , mati enjin . orang belakang dahh horned2 . nehh lah dia perangai org zaman sekarang . dah nampak lampu emergency aku terpasang . rosak lahh maknanya tuhh . tayah nak horned sangat lahh kann . ahhh lantak kau lahh . kesah plak aku dengan horn kau . nehh tangan menggigil2 dahh nehh . no abang punn boleh lupa punya panik nyaa . call abang , tak berangkat pulak . last2 masuk voicemail . kuajiaq ! rupanya dia pergi jamban . perlu ke time2 darurat tuhh nak pergi jamban plak . heshhh . then abang call balik . dengar suara abang terus menangis . takott ke , risau ke , mintak simpati ke , entahlahh . yang pasti memang rasa nak nanges . abang dah gabra . "Tunggu situ sampai abang datang ! jangan pergi mana-mana ! orang datang nak tolong , tengok dulu siapa ! jangan call abah . nanti abah risau." mula dahh perangai diktator dia muncul . habes tuh aku yang teresak-esak macam baby tengah2 jalan nehh nak urus macam mana ? lepas call dengan abang , ada pakcik bawak van sekolah tuhh datang tolong alihkan kereta ke tepi jalan . taktahu pakcik tuhh godek kereta tuhh macam mana . then pakcik tuh ckp jangan bawak lagi kereta sebab temperature dah naik . takott enjin rosak nanti . so , tunggu lahh sampai abang datang dengan ayah . abang isi air , hidup enjin then belek ape ntah , pas tuh abg kata biar abang bawak kete tuh balik sampai umah . kitorg semua naik dengan ayah . ayah hantar balik rumah . fuhhhh what a day . nasib ada abang and ayah . dahh ilyana , lain kali jangan menangis tepi jalan . malu org tengok ! mihihi kalau dah cengeng tuh , cengeng jugakk :)

Okayyy tutup cerita memalukan tuhh . tukar topik ! yeayyyy post nehh best ! lagu yang pernah menari dengan best friend . hikhik . of course lagu rancak . lagu nehhh !

Girls Generation (SNSD) - Gee

Ahaa amekaw . lagu SNSD punn bolehh . tapi siapa K-Poppers yang taktahu joget lagu nehh sumpah noob gilaaa . punca kitorg joget lagu nehh sebab birthday Diyana . Hanis cakap dia sanggup buat apa jea sepanjang hari tuh . kira jadi macam slave lahh gakk . and then kitorang cakap dekat Hanis , jogetlahh Hanis . lagu Geeee ! Hanis kann macam control2 macho siket kannn . bajet kental . aku boleh potong jari kalau dia nak menari masa tuhh . hahaha sampai sudah dia tak menari . kitorang yang memujuk nehh yang sudahnya menari . so , terhasillah tarian kuda kepang ala SNSD versi Fitrah Ilyana dan Nurul Diyana . hikhik . okayyy habes dah bedtime stories . nak sambung cerita korea . XOXO love ya !

Miss Efff ,

Fitrah Ilyana . 

DAY 23: A SONG THAT I CANNOT STAND TO LISTEN TO

Babe ! yeahhh im back . IMSPQ is over . officially . with the champion from National University of Singapore . 1st runner up of Chulalongkorn University Thailand and 2nd runner up from University Sri Lanka . which i didnt remember the name . panjang sangat . personally , i cherished every moment of IMSPQ . having the chance to meet back my crime partners Hanis and Diyana . sharing bed with Diyana again . i miss them so much ! and we met Aini as well . hmmm she's just like us . kepala gila-gila gak . taktahu lahh whether kami yang mempengaruhi dia jadi begitu or mmg talent nyaa tuh tersembunyi dan berjaya dicungkil oleh kami yang memang dah sedia sewel ini . yeahh i met both my teams : Airlangga University and Universitas Indonesia (UI) . and yes they're super awesome ! especially UI team : Dr Ardian , Hans , Wanda and Aris . we're very close together even though we just met 2 days ago . sampai one participant from Vietnam tuh tanya if aku nehh team UI gakk . haha . and hans , thanks for everything . thanks for making me comfortable being around your team . thanks for taking care of me , asking me if i had my meal or not , and yes , thanks untuk segala pengalaman ini . it's very valuable . insya-Allah ada waktu kita ketemu lagikk !

There's so many moments and experiences i gained from IMSPQ besides meeting extremely brilliant students from all over the countries around the globe . mingling around all the medical students . having fun with all other volunteers . sharing knowledge on physiology which most of us memang skills physio dah berkarat habes . kira refresh balik dahh lahh . being a model on traditional clothes . walking along a runaway , which i never been doing it seumur hidup ! been crushing over the Thailand's student . Princess of Naradhewas' student to be precise . over and over again . hikhik menggatal . siapa suruh comel sangat muka tuhh . and lastly , got connected among other students . it's sweet . and yes it's a life-long experience . will not forget it for the rest of my life . thank you IMSPQ ! :)

Okayy enuff . the picts later on okayy . when i feel like showing it to people . ^^

Yeeee memang tak sabar nak cerita pasal benda nehh . dah lama simpan dendam . hahahahahaha . there's this one song ! setiap kali dengar memang geram gila nak mati . hahaha . lagu neyhhh !

Ne-Yo - Beautiful Monster

yeee punca mengapa lagu ini jadi lagu yang paling sakit hati nak dengar semuanya sebab abang . im a violent person when im with all of them . itu fakta . salahkan mereka sebab mendidik aku jadi begitu . bila 6 brothers in the line and im the 7th , this is what happened . i used to be like them . violent and ganas . haha . there's one day when this song happened to appear out of sudden . it's all started back in PASUM days . masa tuhh bad mood . i didnt remember why . tapi yang pasti memang mood swing sangat2 . and kebetulan masa tuhh , hari jumaat , and 3 out of 6 of these beruks ada around KL . mama terus suruh diorg ambik aku . as soon as i stepped into the car , mula beruks2 ini carik pasal . "Dik , kau balik weekend jea . bawak barang macam nak balik sebulan apasal ?" ohhh sedapnya mulut dia bercakap . hambek nehhh . "Hamboihhh memang dah takde perkataan elok sikit yang still available ehh abang ? cubalah tanya adik nehh penat ke ? dah makan ke ? nehh tak . kerja nak carik gaduh jea . org tgh bad mood nehh . baik siket perangai . kang ada yang makan kasut kang ." And then , tiba-tiba radio tuhh pasang lagu nehhh . diorg terus senyap . hengat dahh insaf . rupanya takk ada sekelumit punn keinsafan yang bertakhta di hati . "Haaaa dik . kau kalau nak tahu , lagu nehh sesuai dengan kau . monster habes . perangai siapa yang diikutnya punn taktahu lahh . kasar bebenor . adik siapa nehh?" Ehhh kuang asam ! dahh diorg yang ajar org macam-macam , boleh plak dia cakap aku ikut perangai siapa . siapa yang dok angkut aku heret aku ke sana ke mari . mandi sungai , panjat pokok , merempit smpai tergolek tepi ladang kepala sawit , siapa punya angkara haa siapa ? sesuka hati jea panggil orang monster . monster monster punn kita , tetap adik abang tahu ! sedar diri sikit .

Sejak hari itu , setiap kali aku mengamuk or aku rasa macam puting beliung nak melanda , mesti dorg nyanyi lagu nehh . or kalau tiba-tiba lagu nehh terpasang kat radio , mulalahh beruks jadik excited . "Adik wehh adik . diam diam . lagu adik nehh ." Haah memang nasib aku dapat abang bertaraf beruks . ^^,

Kayyy , whatever it is , walau seberuk mana punn mereka , mereka tetap abang-abang aku selamanya . monster pun monster lahh abang . mana org lain ada adik macam beautiful monster abang nehhh . at least you don't mind . mihihi . love all of you sangat-sangat . thanks sebab sabar dengan perangai adik manja sorg nehh . and thanks gakk sebab sentiasa jadi penyibuk dalam hidup adik , and protect me well with all your life . XOXO love ya !

Beautiful sister ,

Fitrah Ilyana .

DAY 22: A SONG SOMEONE HAS SUNG TO ME

Aku bukannya sasterawan negara

Aku hanya manusia biasa

Menulis sekadar untuk meluah rasa jiwa

Maaf jikaku tak sepeka kamu

Kerna nyata ku tak sehebat kamu bermain kata

Kerna ku tahu imaginasiku ada batasnya

Namun begitu izinkan aku menghibur jiwamu

Dengan kata-kata yang sederhana :)

Babe ! yeee aku bermain kata-kata hari ini . mungkin itu cukup untuk meluahkan segala rasa yang tersudut dalam hati . tolong jangan adili aku sekejam cara . tolong jangan hukum aku semudah bicara . aku pun namanya manusia . punya hati , punya perasaan . :')

Hari nehh pergi tengok Helmi . esok dia start trial SPM . raut wajah dia nampak tenang dan bersahaja . tapi , dalam hati , tak siapa tahu . mungkin sedang berperang dengan ketakutan sendiri . tapi , itulah dia . kalau namanya Amirul Helmi , dia memang seorang yang perahsia . seboleh mungkin cuba disorokkan rasa hati . walau apa punn rasa itu . taknak menyusahkan orang katanya . tapi , ape gunanya aku di sini untukmu , dik . mungkin memang dah lumrah yang namanya lelaki . dia rasa dia pemimpin . dia rasa dia perlu lebih kuat dari kakak nya . kuatlah adikku . teruskan semangat juang itu . satu hari nanti , aku pasti memerlukanmu .

if you guys think im strong , you're wrong . im not strong . but , thats the only choice i have right now . so i have to be one . kalau kalian masih seorang insan , aku mohon secebis doa untuk kedua-dua adikku . Mukhriz also will be taking UPSR on 10th of Sept . kejayaan mereka , harapan mama abah . aku tahu jauh di sudut hati , mereka tak mahu mengecewakan mama abah . bantu mereka Ya Allah .

This is their common favorite song . They always sing this song to me . all the time . aku tanya kenapa suka nyanyi kan lagu nehh for me ? and they simply said , because lagu nehh ada perkataan sister . and you're the only sister we have . okayyy itu terharu . noww rasa nak nanges . FYI , sampai sekarang aku tak pernah tahu lirik penuh lagu nehh . and the only reason i listen to this song , only because of the word SISTER . XOXO , love ya !

Train - Hey, Soul Sister

Helmi's and Mukhriz's sister,

Fitrah Ilyana .

DAY 21: MY FAVORITE SONG

Babe ! im supposed to do the chores related to IMSPQ right now , instead im cuddling on my bed and happily blogging by myself . nevermind , i still need to get ready to approach them anyways . ;)

Last week mama said she probably cannot going home this week since ada kelas ganti . okayy then , nak buat macam mana kan . walaupun rindu bergunung-gunung . then petang tadi , abah turun and cakap , "Mama balik malam nehh . masaklahh ." (sebab tinggal kat rumah tak ramai , memang jarang masak) . Yeeeeee , mula gelabah anjing . baju bertimbun takk basuh lagik . (plan nak basuh esok pagi) . sampah dekat bilik atas tak buang lagikk . kain dah basuh ada 2 bakul takk berlipat . baju sekolah adik tak rendam . kasut adik tak basuh . haaaa amek kau . nampak tak betapa pemalas nya perempuan nama ilyana nehh . then apa lagikk . tolong makcu masak dulu lepas tuhh basuh kain , rendam baju sekolah adik , suruh adik basuh kasut sekolah and buang sampah2 dekat bilik atas . fuhhh lega . baju tak berlipat ? sumbat bilik abang . dengan harapan mama takkan lahh nak masuk inspect bilik abang yang memang dahh already taraf tongkang tuhh kann . so lantak situ semua timbun dalam bilik abang . okayyy konon selesai dahh masalah . then mama sampai dalam pukul 10 , terus makan . lepas makan , tengah sibuk basuh pinggan and kemas dapur dengan makcu , tiba-tiba dengar mama jerit , "Ya Allah bertuah anak . dari mama balik ke Lipis , sampai mama dah balik sini balik , baju nehh tak berlipat lagi anak dara ." abang dahh buat muka tak semenggah dia . suka lahh tuhh orang kena marah . then buat muka tak bersalah terus menjawab , "Takpe ma , besok kita lipat . don't worry !" padahal besok dahh plan nak keluar dengan makcu . nasib lahh kau ilyana . baju tak bergantung tuhh ada sorok belakang pintu bilik adik . janganlahh mama jumpa plakk yang itu . aminnnnn !

Okayyy , itu jea nak cerita . al-kisah si pemalas nama ilyana . bakal mak mentua boleh pk sejuta kali dulu sebelum buat menantu . perangai tak cukup sifat lagikk . ^^,

Yeayyyy tajuk hari nehhh best ! my favorite song . dengar tau . lagu nehh best sangat . ala-ala lagu Ricky Martin yang tajuk dia Livin La Vida Loca tuhh . tapi tak suka version tuhh . suka version Korea nehhh sejuta kali lagikk . maybe sebab pengaruh K-Pop yang menebal dalam diri . and mungkin juga mata nehh gatal nak tgk lelaki comel jea . ahaha . i don't know why tiba-tiba tersuka lagu rancak sebab umum mengetahui aku peminat tegar lagu-lagu ballad and melodious . tapi , maybe lagu nehh exceptional kott . and it's a fun song . seriously , try dengar . sedap ! every time bukak youtube , mesti dengar lagu nehh dulu . baru senang hidup nak tgk benda lain . hikhik ^_^

LED Apple - Bad Boys

Actually ada satu lagi . tapi itu keek . and carikk kat youtube tak jumpa plakk . if sesiapa yang ada keek , try bukak ArizLufias punya keek , tajuk dia Bila Dengan Mu Salah . cover version lagu sendiri yang sumpah sedap sangat-sangat . melting over and over again . dahh dekat 10 ribu kali dok ulang keek dia tuhh . *exaggerating* and in case , you're wondering , yeee dia ponn comel gakk . comel sangat ! hewhewhew . kayy lahh , nak tdow . till then , XOXO love ya !

My Bad ,

Fitrah Ilyana .

DAY 20: THE LAST SONG ALPHABETICALLY IN MY iPOD

Babe ! yeayyy dahh masuk dayy 20 . seronok plak nak habeskan mission nehh . tinggal 5 hari jea lagi . mihihi . :D

Todayy im totally in a good mood . yeahh i guess i am . aku bersyukur aku buat keputusan yang betoll stop kann abah punya steroid intake . bengkak kaki abah mula surut . lega hati nehh sikit . :)

Tadi keluar pergi dinner dengan abah , adik and makcu . dua-dua perempuan nehh pemalas nak masak hari nehh , so menggoda abah untuk bawak kitorg keluar pergi makan . and hasilnya kami berjaya ! pergi dinner dekat Pizza Hut todayyy and yeahhh we're the happy potatoes ! ^^,

Esok malam mak nak datang raya umah . seronok ! tak sabar ! dulu mak masak hari-hari bagi kitorg makan kann ? mlm esok kita masak untuk mak plak tau tau ! tapi taktau lahh sedap ke takk . sebab itewww amateur lagikkk ._."  ohhh lupa nak cerita ! mak is the babysitter of me and adik-adik dari kecik dulu , zaman lepas pantang smpai lahh masuk darjah satu . sebab dahh rapat sangat , memang panggil mak dari dulu . sekarang anak mak nehh dahh besar-besar dahh semua . montel dahh semua . nampak takk betapa berjayanya mak membesarkan kami ? hikhik sayang mak !

Okayy lahhh balik ke tajuk atas tuhh . kenapa dengan day 20 nehh . haha senang jea post kali nehh . tapi aku punn taktahu lagu ape yg paling last dlm iPod aku nehh senanya . jomm kita check-it-out sesama . jeng jeng jeng !

ZE:A - Beautiful Lady (by Hyun Sik)

Ohhhhh haha lagu nehh rupa-rupanya . lagu nehh ada 2 version . first version memang ZE:A yang nyanyi . tapi yg 2nd version punya Hyung Sik jea yang nyanyi . Hyung Sik nehh punn memang member ZE:A . tapi , masa tuhh dia nyanyi lagu nehh untuk Jihyun (4 Minute) dalam cite Romantic & Idol , so that's why dia nyanyi sorang . and personally , memang aku suka yg 2nd version punya nehh sebab suara Hyung Sik nehh sangat comell ! dahlahh dia handsome hewhew . nasib baik version Hyung Sik nehh yang duduk paling last . hihi so dengarlahh boyfie iteww yang ke-berapa-entah-tak-tau nehh nyanyi yee kalau sudi . charming kann dia ? anddd btw , saya suka jari org yang main piano ituuu ! *melting* :D

Mission nehh kena habeskan cepat-cepat . Selasa depan dahh kena balik UM sekejap sampai hari Sabtu sebab nak kena handle event IMSPQ . anddddd ! believe it or not , im one of the model in the fashion show on the culture night of that event . mihihi bangga siket . Jasmine lahh punya kerja nehhh . paksa rela namanyaaa . hahaha . wait for that stories later kayyy ! XOXO love ya ! bye !

That lady ,

Fitrah Ilyana .